The Ugly Twins: Fear & Failure

Christmas is almost here and I am so excited. Gift giving/recieving is my numero uno love language. I love shopping and selecting gifts for those I love. You are not the exception! I have a Christmas gift for you too. Today's post was written by my lovely friend Stephanie for you. She's no stranger to Living As A Lily, here is the link to her Thanksgiving post from 2012 that'll give you a little history: click HERE. Go make yourself a cup of hot chocolate, with lots of marshmallows, and unwrap what Stephanie and Jesus have prepared for you!

The Ugly Twins: Fear & Failure, by Stephanie Landa

I am so honored Raquel invited me to write on her blog! When she first asked, I quickly responded, “YES!” Not having any idea what to write about, I took a leap of faith and trusted God would reveal exactly what He wanted me to share on this blog. After a couple of days, I knew exactly what to write about, and so here it goes…

“You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail.” –Proverbs 19:21

Summer of 2013 was when I first found out I was going to start my career as a 1st grade teacher. I was filled with excitement but so much more with FEAR. Fear of the unknown! And so, I began my career where I almost immediately fell in love with those 1st graders. Not only were they amazing, but so was the administration and my coworkers. After a very short time (1 month and a half), I quit! Yup, I quit! (If you know me, you know I’m not a quitter)

I could only imagine what you are thinking. “This girl is crazy! What in the world happened?”

Well, within that short amount of time of teaching, I struggled so much with fear and anxiety. Endless nights of not sleeping because my mind would not shut up. I felt like I needed everything to be perfect and so rather than allowing myself to plan, do the best that I can, and “let it go” (yes, I totally quoted Frozen), I drove myself insane. (I seemed to have forecasted the rest of my life based off of one moment) I lost a great amount of weight, I disconnected myself from almost everyone, my faith in God was lost, etc. which led me all to a deep depression. My family, fiancé, and friends were all extremely concerned about me.

I remember the day that I quit. I felt like a complete failure. I felt like I lost my identity. Even now as I write this, my eyes fill up with tears because the way I felt that day and even months after, was THE hardest time of my life. Now please don’t judge me. I understand God has blessed me with SO MUCH, but at that time, I did NOT have the right perspective and was completely lost. I felt like my identity was in my career (I now know my identity is found in Christ and Christ alone; He defines me) and once I lost that, I felt a great amount of anguish.

Almost my entire life, I thought I was created to be a teacher. I had all these plans set for my life. You would think that I had already learned my lesson about FULLY trusting God and letting Him do as He pleases (you can read more about thise HERE).

Almost 6 months later, I figured it all out. I had all these plans, but God had His ultimate plan and I could not be happier. His purpose did prevail (as it always does) and I found my niche in life and that is to be a Middle School teacher. (I know, I’m crazy, but there is something so special about the middle school students) I won’t bore you with the details as to how I got to this point in my life, but its crazy how all along God had been molding me.

God is able to do “exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond all that we could ask or think.” I believe this and because I do I will trust Him, take Him at His word, keep on moving forward. I will fight fear by declaring the promises found in God's word over my life. I have learned a lot and I've shared all of this to strengthen you. I encourage you to make plans in your heart, and get moving, but give God room to direct your steps. Make plans, but keep them fluid. Don’t make them concrete! Allow God to flexibility with those plans, to move them around if needed, to line up those desires to His Word and will. A lot of us sit around waiting for direction from God, but He is waiting for you to draw near to Him. Do step out in faith! Filled with the Holy Spirit you can take gutsy risks on the desires of your heart. Get those feet moving as He leads you.

God is the keeper of your heart and will protect it. He will inspire, encourage, nurture, and breathe new life when needed. Dream big! Make plans! Get moving! He's got you!

    * Stephanie has also contributed: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

happy 5th birthday blogie

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I know I'm a little late in posting... actually, I've been lost lately.
Much (an not much) has happened in this past year. But I can sum it all with this one verse:

After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.” Genesis 15:1

 God led me to do the unexpected. Out of my very mouth unimaginable words poured forth, "I'm stepping down." Say What?!?! Who... Me...  Yes! And there I sat, in tears, knowing that these very words were not spoken by my will but by God's very Spirit.

You see, I'm not an educated person like most of my peers. I didn't go to college. I have no degree, or even an AA. And though I had no title to define me, I was defined by service and ministries.

In a very inconspicuous way, these works were idols in my life. I was going to church to serve, and without notice my attendance for God alone was less and less. Don't get me wrong, I didn't drift from God. On the contrary, my service was for Him. But I was all works and neglectful of my own heart. The words of Jesus echo loudly to me concerning Mary, "But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42.

The next day I sat in my car crying. I doubted that God had spoken through me. I was afraid that this decision was the wrong one. I feared that this decision would affect my youth girls and the various ministries I was involved in. Worst of all, was I trusting God or cowardly running? I wept bitterly. At that moment I knew I needed to hear from God. I read from Jack Hayford's YouVersion Plan, Praise In The Presence of God:

God Is Our Reward
God never demands a sacrifice for the divine pleasure of smelling its aroma or because He needs us to tickle His pride. The objective is our release—our growth.

God asked Abraham to offer Isaac. Not to exploit Abraham’s emotions or to destroy Isaac, but to take away forever Abraham’s fear that God might not have his best interest at heart. Only in worship do we draw close enough to discern God’s true nature and loving heart.

God gave Abraham no immediate monetary reward for worshiping Him, but the reward was immensely grander—God Himself! (Jack Hayford)

After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward. Genesis 15:1

God was asking me that very moment to willingly offer my works. Not to exploit my emotions or to destroy these ministries but to take away forever my fear that God might not have His best interest at heart. It was in fact through this act of worship that I have been able to draw close enough to discern God's nature and loving heart. He has been my shield these past few months, my exceedingly great reward.

The sacrifice was more than just stepping down from serving at church. It meant seeking a place of refuge where He would restore, revive, and renew me. Even I can recognize that old habits don't die so easily. I prayed for God's guidance and He provided such a place. Remember, God's objective through our sacrifice is our growth. And I have been growing. That is something beautiful that can not be taken from me.

I can't put to words all that He has been revealing to me, or even what He is stirring in my heart. But I can tell you this, He is making me new. 

I have been lost with reason. I've been enjoying my reward, God himself.

Anywho, now that I have brought you up to date...CHEERS to the fifth year!

pray more

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"I'm going to pray more."
It's been said before, and often. How did that go?

I can understand the prayer-less life of a person who has never experienced the power of prayer. But to those of us who have experienced the miraculous, the spectacular, the awe-inspiring power of prayer, we have no excuse. What possible excuse could we give to the God who gives all to us?

It has been in my personal time of prayer that I have grown in faith. For it takes faith to believe that God is who He says He is. It takes faith to believe that God hears my prayers. It takes faith to believe that God cares for the words I say. It takes faith to believe that He will answer, guide, and provide. It takes faith to believe that He has a plan, a purpose, and a will for all my petitions, concerns, and thoughts. And so with every prayer lifted to Heaven faith is increased, and my fears, doubts, and unbelief are shattered. 

Yet, if I only pray my benefit, than I have lost the greatest reward of all... I've lost Christ. It has been those moments that in prayer God speaks to me that have transformed my faith. Prayer is more than simply speaking, it's also about listening. I think this is why so many (myself included) claim to have prayer lives but are found spiritually malnourished. After all, Jesus did say that He is the bread of life. He longs to feed us as we pray.

Hunger for a transforming prayer life. 

Purpose with me to expect the miraculous. 

Purpose with me to seek spectacular conversations with God. 

Purpose with me to be inspired by His silence as much as His words. 

Purpose with me to pray more. 

Let's be REAL. Christians Hurt.

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Let's be REAL. 

Christians hurt. Contrary to popular belief, Christians do hurt, and they cry. 

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I am tired of hurting people being pushed aside simply because they are hurting and not getting over it.

We can so easily forget that Christians are human, not some strange creature that has the supernatural ability of only experiencing three emotions: happy, joyful, and cheerful. Too often, those who hurt are afraid of speaking up because they “shouldn’t feel that way” or “should get over it”.

I am not free of guilt.

I once had a friend who was in deep despair. Her hurt was bottomless. It wasn’t difficult understanding that her heart and mind were crushed. But after a few weeks of her crying over this ruin, I grew tired of it. I purposefully planned to not meet with her many times, to avoid hearing her talk about the same old thing. And even though I genuinely had remorse for what I was doing, the thought of her ongoing hurt made me cringe a bit. When would she get over this? This version of my friend was an inconvenience and I wanted my happy, joyful, and cheerful friend back.

It wasn’t till I went through a similar season of gloom that I realized what a terrible friend and sister in Christ I was. In my agony, and through the depression, I simply wanted a friend to hear me out. At other times, my need was for a friend to sit in silence while I cried. But I wasn’t honest with many people, faked the funk, and displayed a bogus joy. Sure, publicly I acted indifferent to my circumstances but in the face of worship and God’s Word, I would fall apart. In solitude I deteriorated and feared what others may think of me if they found out I was broken and weak.

I decided to write my feelings out in a blog post. Unbeknownst to me, someone would read my words and be a friend.

She wrote to me,“Raquel I will be writing more to you. You are a brave woman...People will never see us as having found a Savior if we never confess we struggle. Otherwise, they think they don’t have it, or it doesn’t work for them. On my real blog I have a few posts about cancer: keeping it real... This is wicked nasty stuff that God uphold s me through, that Jesus rides in the boat with me through.”

She didn’t tell me that as a Christian I am to be strong for those around me, or strong period.

She told me to be real. And she prayed with me. 

I shied from being real because after all, I am to be joyful at all times.

I hid behind the façade that I was getting over it.

But the truth is:

Christians do hurt.

Christians experience wicked nasty stuff.

Christians struggle.

Her words began to mend a part of me that had vanished. It was then that my wounds began to heal. She didn't dismiss my hurt, but let me know it's ok to hurt and she didn't think less of me because of it. I engraved her words in my heart, and I cry every time I go back to the wisdom she shared with me. Cancer took her life but her legacy is still with me.

We can’t ignore the hurt or cover it as with a Band-Aid.

We can’t ignore the person who hurts, or push them aside because they inconvenience us.

Words spoken to a person who is hurting, though well meaning, can’t diminish the pain they are experiencing.

We are to be Christ-like, long-suffering with those who are hurting.

We are to be a safe haven for them.

We are to be a refuge where hurting people are free to speak or sit in silence, where they can cry, and struggle.

We are to be a lighthouse, guiding those who are hurt out of darkness and into the light.

We are to show hospitality to those hurting in solitude; share meals, time, space, and love.
We are to be shepherds, pursuing after the hurting Christian.

We are to be warriors, warring with them through prayer.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.  Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically, rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:9-17

A friend is always loyal, and a sister is born to help in time of need.

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a sister. Proverbs 18:24

Birthday Surprise! It's Ziemely

Happy Friday Friends! Today's post comes from my friend Zee. In short, she can be described as encouraging, a gentle and quiet spirit, and lovely. I'm bummed that I can't see her often, but between texts and prayers the Lord has united us in friendship. You will be greatly blessed through her post! 

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I want to start off by saying thank you to Raquel for allowing me to contribute to her blog. I was surprised when she asked last year and I think even more surprised this time around.

I’m from Miami but this past January I moved to Nashville. You are probably wondering why Nashville and to tell you the truth I wondered the same thing for a while. In April 2011, after a very tumultuous 2010, a year in which I lost three close loved ones and ending an unhealthy relationship I truly and whole heartedly gave my life to Christ.

Even though I was confiding and trusting in God I was still taken aback when He planted a seed for the city of Nashville. I was a baby in the faith and in all reality I still am, but I thought I was crazy! I had never been to Nashville nor did I know anyone here. But after trying to put the idea out of my mind for close to a year, I realized that if I didn’t at least start to research the city and the potential move I would be going against something that I felt God was calling me to do.

As soon as I started looking into it, I started to feel more and more at peace about the possibility of leaving my home for the unknown. I applied for 3 jobs and within a month of applying to the third job I was offered a job with my current company and I knew that I was on the path God wanted me to be on.

There are times that I am completely at a loss for words about all that has happened since giving my life to Christ. Has it been easy? NO! Have I had moments of second guessing? YES! Do I regret it? NO! And that is because I know that since that decision, God has been working in me. He is using my time here in Nashville to refine me. There are moments when it hurts and it gets lonely but I look around at all that He has blessed with me and I can’t help but be grateful for the people He has put in my life, His patience, His mercy, His love but most importantly His grace!

It has been almost  a year since accepting my job and making the decision to leave my family and friends in Miami and embark on an adventure in which I knew I was not 100% in control of and if I had to choose one word that encompassed my move it would have to be Grace! I am learning what that word truly means, I am learning to accept it but most importantly I am learning how to offer grace.

Do I have it all figured out? Not at all! Do I still make mistakes? ABSOLUTELY!! So far, my time here has been one of change. I have had my set-backs but it is in those moments in which I am learning the most. He uses those moments to show me that it’s not about me. It is about something greater than me!

May this verse hat has spoken to me more times than I can count, resonate with you. I pray that we continue to accept His grace and realize that we are weak but it is in that weakness where we are made STRONG!

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

*Last year she was a guest blogger for the Birthday Surprise series, check her last post HERE. Have a beautiful day! 

Zee's home in Nashville 

Nashville

Nashville 

my struggle with fear

Happy Monday!
I am struggling to write this post because I know that I have to be honest. And honest means I cannot hide behind a smile or pretty words. So I'm just going to jump into this thing.

Weight

Weight-loss

Food

Eat Clean

Exercise
Fit

Fat 

Obese

Skinny

All these words, as individuals and as a whole, have always provoked one sentiment: fear. It's difficult to explain, but I will try. Anorexia not only affected me physically, it also scarred me mentally. I do believe that I was physically healed, but mentally I have been in bondage to the fear of relapsing. I fear that if I begin to restrict certain foods or the amount of food, that I will spiral down to a cracker a day. I fear that if I begin to work out, I will work myself out as I have done in the past. I have yet to tread down a path where self control and balance is the norm. I have only known extremes and fear.

A month ago I took a step of bold courage and applied for a boot-camp held at my job for the employees. I told my dept (we are only 5 ladies) that I had applied and hoped that in doing so it would keep me accountable if I was selected. One of my coworker applied as well. Three weeks ago, we received notification that we were chosen. It felt as if a ton of bricks were dropped in my stomach.

Two thoughts came to mind:
1. You are so out of shape and will be the fat girl in the camp. You're going to hold everyone back. They are going to laugh at you, or look down on you for letting yourself go this much.
2. What if I do well and two days a week becomes three days, and then four days becomes five days, and then six days, seven days? What if then I'm working out two times a day, seven days a week? How will this work out? No one has to know how much I am actually working out. I don't need people in my life, I can just work out.

And then, a third thought.
3. Stop thinking like that! You haven't even begun and you're already being extreme. Don't start the boot-camp, its taking you down a bad road again.

These thoughts have been my struggle for 15 years. These thoughts have crippled me and shackled my ability to do anything more than fear. So I was left with a choice. Attend the boot-camp in a step of faith or sit on the couch and fear. I asked 10 ladies close to me to pray me through the next 7 weeks. With their help, I have completed two weeks of the boot-camp and a the Susan G. Komen 5k race/walk for the cure of breast cancer in my Aunt's honor. Has it been easy? NO! Probably one of the most difficult obstacles I've had to overcome in a very long time. I have five more weeks of boot-camp left to accomplish and Lord willing, a lifetime of reaching daily goals of not fearing, taking every thought captive, and relying on the Holy Spirit for self-control.

Why am I sharing this?
Not because it feels good to be transparent. On the contrary, I am vulnerable right now, ashamed, and embarrassed. But I know that I am not alone in struggling with a form of fear. Let the encouragement of my faithful friends encourage you to step out in faith and trample fear.

YD- 

Don't be discouraged, you can do this! When you feel weak HE is strong! HE gives you what you need. Rely on HIM for strength. When you look back at the end of boot camp you are going to amazed at how far HE has taken you. In your moments of weakness set your eyes on HIM. Call to HIM for help. HE will answer! Just like when a parent teaches a child to ride a bike; a parent holds the back of the bike and runs alongside the child until the child gains enough confidence and stability, and slowly the parent starts to let go of the bike. Right now the LORD is running alongside you, "I've got you, Raquel." "I won't let go". "Don't give up!" "I'm with you." "You CAN do this!" 

CG- Jesus will be with you every step of the way. And so will your girls. You are not alone. You are in my daily prayers. 

PG- The Lord gives us strength we didn't know we had. 

MC- Look at it this way, its like bringing a new sacrifice unto the Lord. Praying for you because I am right with you! I promise it will pay off, and in a few weeks you will feel like you are on top of the world!

1 Corinthians 10:31- Whether you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lyrical Friday - Not For A Moment

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Today's post and song is on that is sure to encourage just about anyone. Below are a few of the verses that have sustained me through rough waters, wanderings and through seasons of stillness and silence. When I have felt alone and abandoned, God has proved me wrong. I have never been alone, not for a moment. He has never forgotten me, not for a moment. He will never forsake me, not for a moment. He is constant. He is good. He is sovereign. And, He is for you! You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You have not been forsaken. May the promises of God and the lyrics of this song encourage you in a great and mighty way. 

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And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8 

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Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
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You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. Psalm 18:28
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Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their chains in pieces. Psalm 107:13-14
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Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness; He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. Psalm 112:4
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Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence? 
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; 
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. 
If I take the wings of the morning, 
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
Psalm 139:7-10
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Not For a Moment, Meredith Andrews

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You were reaching through the storm 
walking on the water 
even when I could not see 
in the middle of it all 
when I thought You were a thousand miles away 
not for a moment did You forsake me 
not for a moment did You forsake me 

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after all You are constant 
after all You are only good 
after all You are sovereign 
not for a moment will You forsake me 
not for a moment will You forsake me 

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You were singing in the dark 
whispering Your promise 
even when I could not hear 
I was held in Your arms 
carried for a thousand miles to show 
Not for a moment did You forsake me 
-and every step every breath you are there 
every tear every cry every prayer 
in my heart at my worst 
when my world falls down 
not for a moment will You forsake me 
even in the dark 
even when it's hard 
you will never leave me 
after all 

Sentence Tuesday

The truth you store up in silence comes back to you in the storm, and it lifts you away as on a life raft from the fears and disappointments that would otherwise pull you under. When you abide in His Word, He abides in you. -Christine Caine, Undaunted.

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Lyrical Friday - Overcome

Happy Friday to You! 

Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe? Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome. the world. John 16:31-33

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This portion of scripture has been one of great comfort in my life, many times. It is often quoted to those who are in the midst of tribulation and sort of blurted out without giving much thought to it. These words, spoken by Jesus, are so heavy in worth. Jesus has overcome this world: tribulation, hunger, thirst, sleep deprivation, loneliness, poverty, humiliation, betrayal, slander, demonic manifestations, temptation, and the greatest of these, sin and death. Do you hear the treasures of this verse being rattled? All that we are going through, and all that we have yet to walk in to, Christ has overcome. And because He has overcome we can take refuge in His comfort, delight in His hope, glory in His praises and rest in His promises. 

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I pray that you may be anchored in this truth today, tomorrow and forever. You are in Christ, a new creation, you no longer have to fear as the world does, but you can be of good cheer in the midst of tribulation. Because Christ was not alone when he walked this earth as a man, neither are you. The Father is with you. He loves you and He cares for you. What matters to you, matters to God; no matter how big or however small the matter may be. He is for you, not against you. Trust Him with your life and as you do, you too will overcome this world. 

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Overcome, Jeremy Camp 

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Seated above, enthroned in the Father's loveDestined to die, poured out for all mankindGod's only son perfect and spotless oneHe never sinned, but suffered as if He did2All authority, every victory is YoursAll authority, every victory is Yours2CHORUS:Savior, worthy of honor and glory,Worthy of all our praise, You overcameJesus, awesome in power forever,Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame2Power in hand speaking the Father's planYou're sending us out, light in this broken land2We will overcome by the blood of the Lamband the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

When God is Silent, teaching from camp

Happy Monday!
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A week ago this very hour, I was standing before a room of 70+ youth girls. God had spoken to me a good word to share with them: When God is Silent. A friend asked me to share my notes and so, here they are.
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When God is Silent
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Opening Exercise:
Ask the girls to close their eyes and not open them till I tell them to. Both the girls and myself are not to speak at all. Do not tell them for how long they will sit in silence.
Once I have them open their eyes, point out:
* Though there was silent, I was still present // Though there is silence from above, God is still present
* Though I was silent, I was still at work // Though God is silent, He is still at work on their behalf
* I wasn't silent because I was upset at them // God is not silent because He is upset at them
* My love for them didn't change because of my silence // God's love for them is unchanging
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Key Verses:

* Psalm 42:1-3 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” 

* Psalm 13:1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

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Personal Experience: 

Briefly share these experiences.

* Four years ago I felt like the Psalmist, abandoned by the Lord

* Brokenhearted by the betrayal of a friend

* Felt useless when I was taken out of ministries

* Felt like a failure as I applied for many jobs and not one company called me back

* I continued to seek the Lord to heal my depression, but He remained silent 

* Doubt became fear 

* I grew faithless 

* I was angry, confused, bitter

* As I compared by life to others, I complained to God about mine

* Pity parties 

* Hopeless I fell down on my face into God's word

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It was through the reading of God's Word that I learned on my own the lessons I am about to teach you. 

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1. Recognize the ways God speaks 

Remind the girls to simply listen and take notes of all scripture references

1. Creation - Psalm 19:1-3 // ex: Rainbow covenant
2. Audibly - Genesis 2 // ex: God spoke to Adam 
3. Miracles & Signs - Hebrews 2:3-4 // ex: Right (God parting the red sea for the people of Israel is him speaking for them to continue). Wrong (If he wears a green shirt he is my future husband). 
4. Bible - 2 Timothy 3:16 // self explanatory
5. Circumstance - Ruth 1-4 // Through our trials He speaks comfort, provision and faithfulness
6. Prophet - Deuteronomy 18:18 // a messenger
7. Judgement - Romans 6:23 // His judgement speaks of His jealous love for us
8. Without Words - Luke 12:10-12 // Through the Holy Spirit
9. His Word Incarnate: Jesus - John 1:1-5 // The most important of all! 

2. When is God Silent?

This is not a checklist, so do not self diagnose God's silence. Seek Him. 

1. He is giving us space to make a decision // ex: Meli had to choose between school or a job (both good but the choice was hers)
2. He isn't ready to speak 
3. He has already spoken
4. He is testing us - 2 Chronicles 32:31b // He tests us not to cause us to fail but to perfect our faith
5. He knows we won't listen // Usually when we are rebellious and in disobedience (He's a gentleman and though He pursues, He won't impose Himself on us.)
6. Something or Someone is hindering our listening // Learn to recognize His voice

3. How NOT to respond when God is Silent

1. Do not doubt God or His Word - James 1:5-8 // Our limited knowledge and worldly wisdom will be as the waves tossed and driven by the wind. We are unstable when we doubt. Continue seeking God's Word and godly council/prayer. 
2. Do not live by sight - 2 Corinthians 5:7 // The opposite of faith is sight. "God, because I do not trust you I live by sight." -Bob Coy
3. Do not become angry - Proverbs 25:28 // When we give in to anger, we are driven by emotions and lose self control/discipline. We become broken down walls, causing us to be vulnerable and defenseless to spiritual attacks.
4. Do not complain - Exodus 16 // The people of Israel could have entered the promise land. It wasn't fear of the giants that kept them from entering, it was their complaining. They wandered for forty years because they complained constantly. They compared their misery to their slavery days. Greatest pity party in history: They longed for onions! YUCK! When we complain, we keep ourselves from the "promise land" and a perfected faith. We then become wanderers. 

4. How to respond when God is Silent

1. View His last order(s) as standing orders // Whatever He told you to do last, continue doing that
2. Remember past victories/promises of God and rest your faith in that 
3. Long for the Lord as David did in Psalm 42, don't let the passion/zeal die 
4. Recognize that silence can be an intimate place with God
5. Keep talking to God

5. When was God silent in the Bible

1. Job suffered many horrific troubles. Chapters 1-37 God is silent, He finally speaks in chapter 38. That's a lot of time! 
2. David's life, through the Psalms, we read Him crying out for God to speak and work on his behalf. His enemies even mocked Him because God was silent. We also that God never left His side. 
3. Hannah prayed for a child and God's silence was reflected in her barrenness. God opens and closes the womb in scripture. He speaks as Hannah and Elkanah conceive Samuel the Prophet. 
4. When Mary and Martha called fro Jesus to heal their brother Lazarus who was sick. Jesus didn't move for two days, by then Lazarus was dead. They may have felt neglected. When they all thought all was lost, Jesus spoke, "Lazarus, come forth." Lazarus, still wrapped in burial wraps came back to life. 
5. The woman caught in the very act of adultery, stood before a crowd ready to stone her to death for her sin. Jesus, the only one who could have rightfully judged and condemned her, was silent as He wrote on the floor. There in the presence of Jesus' silence, as she waited to die, all her accusers left, one by one. And then He spoke, "Go, and sin no more."
6. From the last word in the book of Malachi to the first word spoken in the book of Matthew, God was silent. That is 400 years, making that the longest period of time that God was silent. Imagine living your entire existence without ever hearing from God. The time of greatest silence was needed in order for God to do His greatest work. He became man and died the worst death, that today we would be able to live. 

Close: 

* Silence can be likened to being stranded in a desert. 

* "The desert is fertile ground for our spiritual transformation and for God's grace to be revealed in magnificent ways." -Bianca Juarez 

* Every season of our lives is to be accepted as a gift from God. Even the seasons of silence.
Embrace this season.

Invitation: 
* Hosea 6:1-3, "Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds. In just a short time he will restore us, so that we may live in his presence. Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.” 

• The rains in early spring was extremely important. If it did not rain in the spring, the land would not bear fruit that would sustain them in the seasons of drought and winter. 
• God promises that when we pursue Him, He will be to us the dew of Israel, watering (the Holy Spirit work through the application of His Word) our lives so that we can bear much fruit and yes, even faith for the seasons of silence.

*Hosea 10:12, "Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Break up the fallow and hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may come and shower righteousness upon you.

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There you have it. I pray that Lord may have spoken to you, as He spoke to me these lessons. If you need prayer, shoot me an email [livingasalily@gmail.com]. May the Lord guard your heart and mind as you seek Him in the silence.

Last week at Uth Camp as the girls sat in silence. 

Lyrical Friday - I Will Exalt

[photo credit]

Happy Friday amigos. 

I'm actually writing this post Thursday night because early this morning my Mother, Bruny, will be having eye surgery. Please keep her in prayer as well as the medical staff (specially Dr. Abbey) of Bascom Palmer Eye Institute. I am confident that the good work God began in her, He will complete. He who created her will bring order to the chaos. He holds her in His hands and I will not fear. I will praise Him for His faithfulness to my Mother, to my family and me. 

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Today's lyrical Friday song is 'I Will Exalt' by Hillsong. This Wednesday the worship team sang this one and for the first time, in a long time, I broke down in tears. Since this fiery trial with my Mother, the peace of God (which surpasses ALL understanding) has guarded my heart and mind. His peace has sustained me. And as I sang the first verse, I exalted Him, I praised Him, worshiped Him for being my God. And then the chorus began... my hiding place. That was all I needed for the tears to burst through my tightly sealed eyes. All these days He has been my peace. But at night, when silence and stillness invite thoughts of doubt, fear and anxiety, He has been my hiding place. As His children, we can enter His presence with our doubts, questions, fears, anxiety, brokenness, mourning, loneliness, depression and failure... and hide (from everything and everyone) in Him. There He comforts us, holds us and reassures us that He himself will fight for us. If you need a hiding place, find a safe refuge in the Lord. Start by meditating on the lyrics and making them your song of praise. Prayer will lead you to His glorious hiding place. 

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For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. Psalm 32:7

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You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word. Psalm 119:114

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But as for me, I will sing about your power. Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love. For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress. Psalm 59:6

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The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:2-4

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Those who live in the shelter of the Most High 
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 
This I declare about the Lord: 
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; 
He is my God, and I trust him. 
For He will rescue you from every trap 
and protect you from deadly disease. 
He will cover you with His feathers. 
He will shelter you with His wings. 
His faithful promises are your armor and protection. 
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, 
nor the arrow that flies in the day. 
Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, 
nor the disaster that strikes at midday. 
Psalm 91:1-6 
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For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3

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I Will Exalt, Brooke Fraser  

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I will exalt You

I will exalt YouI will exalt YouYou are my God-Chorus:My hiding place My safe refugeMy treasure Lord You areMy friend and King Anointed OneMost Holy.-Because You’re with meBecause You’re with meBecause You’re with meI will not fear

The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1

Lyrical Friday - I Will Lift My Eyes

Happy Friday 
Back in 2007 I boarded a plane to a far off land. I spent nearly three weeks in Israel. Indeed it was a trip that changed my life completely. All my senses were awakened in that visit. My eyes introduced to new sights: from holy sights and refugee camps, to museums and living rooms, luscious green mountains to desert ground. I saw a people who are so far off from being anything like me yet needing the one thing I constantly cry out for: more of Jesus. My ears awakened to new sounds, languages, voices, and even to the silent cries of a perishing people. My taste buds nearly melted with all the delicious food I ate, breakfast, lunch and dinner were all a delight to experience and I did to my fullest capacity. Who can complain when you wake up to fresh Hummus, pita bread and the world's smallest apples, fresh Falafel for lunch and Kanafeh after dinner? Yet I couldn't shake off the awareness that there remains a people who have not tasted the goodness of the Lord to their fullest capacity, even to overflow. Israel carries the fragrance of Christ, to one is the scent of death and to another it is the scent of life. The scent of Israel is fresh, it's lively, it is still and mysterious. I  touched the ground my Savior walked upon, sat at the Mount of Beatitudes, cried at the Church of Annunciation and floated far, far away at the Dead Sea. There are two cactus' that I remember well, I sat on one and fell on another. I touched Israel, and Israel touched my heart in a way that all these words, no words could ever describe. All these wonderful memories mean nothing in light of the promise God gave me before leaving to Israel:
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I look up to the mountains—

does my help come from there?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth. 

He will not let you stumble;

the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel

never slumbers or sleeps. 

The Lord himself watches over you!

The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon at night. 

The Lord keeps you from all harm

and watches over your life.

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,

both now and forever.

Psalm 121

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You see, I had prayed for the Lord to give me a scripture that I could take on this trip and take refuge in through out my days in Israel. It sure was a refuge and a great comfort to know that my God is my helper 24/7. I knew through these verses that I could call out to Him any day, any time, any where. He would respond any day, any time, any where because He is 1- watching over me, 2- never sleeps and 3- this was guaranteed to me for both now and forever. This promise never expires. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Israel to the max. I did not fear, worry, become anxious or weary. I could have but I did not doubt.
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I wish I could say the same to my experiences here, at home. I have feared terribly, become worried over and over, anxiety has gotten the best of me and boy, have I grown weary. I have exhausted all my resources and knowledge and at the end of it, I fall back to the question, "Where does my help come from?" Forgive me God for all the times that I have not redeemed this promise in your Word. It is my prayer that you would experience this life, your life to the max, to capacity, to overflow and in abundance as you believe and redeem (as in a coupon, lol) the promises of Psalm 121 which never expire. I Will Lift My Eyes by Bebo Norman is just the song to help us get back on our knees and lifting our eyes to our Helper. God bless YOU!
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I Will Lift My Eyes, Bebo Norman 


God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt
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Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in
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I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
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God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me
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'Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
'Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now