my struggle with fear

Happy Monday!
I am struggling to write this post because I know that I have to be honest. And honest means I cannot hide behind a smile or pretty words. So I'm just going to jump into this thing.

Weight

Weight-loss

Food

Eat Clean

Exercise
Fit

Fat 

Obese

Skinny

All these words, as individuals and as a whole, have always provoked one sentiment: fear. It's difficult to explain, but I will try. Anorexia not only affected me physically, it also scarred me mentally. I do believe that I was physically healed, but mentally I have been in bondage to the fear of relapsing. I fear that if I begin to restrict certain foods or the amount of food, that I will spiral down to a cracker a day. I fear that if I begin to work out, I will work myself out as I have done in the past. I have yet to tread down a path where self control and balance is the norm. I have only known extremes and fear.

A month ago I took a step of bold courage and applied for a boot-camp held at my job for the employees. I told my dept (we are only 5 ladies) that I had applied and hoped that in doing so it would keep me accountable if I was selected. One of my coworker applied as well. Three weeks ago, we received notification that we were chosen. It felt as if a ton of bricks were dropped in my stomach.

Two thoughts came to mind:
1. You are so out of shape and will be the fat girl in the camp. You're going to hold everyone back. They are going to laugh at you, or look down on you for letting yourself go this much.
2. What if I do well and two days a week becomes three days, and then four days becomes five days, and then six days, seven days? What if then I'm working out two times a day, seven days a week? How will this work out? No one has to know how much I am actually working out. I don't need people in my life, I can just work out.

And then, a third thought.
3. Stop thinking like that! You haven't even begun and you're already being extreme. Don't start the boot-camp, its taking you down a bad road again.

These thoughts have been my struggle for 15 years. These thoughts have crippled me and shackled my ability to do anything more than fear. So I was left with a choice. Attend the boot-camp in a step of faith or sit on the couch and fear. I asked 10 ladies close to me to pray me through the next 7 weeks. With their help, I have completed two weeks of the boot-camp and a the Susan G. Komen 5k race/walk for the cure of breast cancer in my Aunt's honor. Has it been easy? NO! Probably one of the most difficult obstacles I've had to overcome in a very long time. I have five more weeks of boot-camp left to accomplish and Lord willing, a lifetime of reaching daily goals of not fearing, taking every thought captive, and relying on the Holy Spirit for self-control.

Why am I sharing this?
Not because it feels good to be transparent. On the contrary, I am vulnerable right now, ashamed, and embarrassed. But I know that I am not alone in struggling with a form of fear. Let the encouragement of my faithful friends encourage you to step out in faith and trample fear.

YD- 

Don't be discouraged, you can do this! When you feel weak HE is strong! HE gives you what you need. Rely on HIM for strength. When you look back at the end of boot camp you are going to amazed at how far HE has taken you. In your moments of weakness set your eyes on HIM. Call to HIM for help. HE will answer! Just like when a parent teaches a child to ride a bike; a parent holds the back of the bike and runs alongside the child until the child gains enough confidence and stability, and slowly the parent starts to let go of the bike. Right now the LORD is running alongside you, "I've got you, Raquel." "I won't let go". "Don't give up!" "I'm with you." "You CAN do this!" 

CG- Jesus will be with you every step of the way. And so will your girls. You are not alone. You are in my daily prayers. 

PG- The Lord gives us strength we didn't know we had. 

MC- Look at it this way, its like bringing a new sacrifice unto the Lord. Praying for you because I am right with you! I promise it will pay off, and in a few weeks you will feel like you are on top of the world!

1 Corinthians 10:31- Whether you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lyrical Friday - We Should Run

[photo credit]

Happy Friday to YOU!
I am pretty sure that you have days, or maybe just moments, when you wish Jesus would come and take you away. No? OK, I guess its just me. Ha! We all have a longing for something bigger, somewhere farther, something more. We cannot find fullness of joy or satisfaction in this life. And though our bodies were created for this world, the real us (our soul) was created for Heaven. It is only natural to for us to not feel at home here on earth. I am not saying that we are to be miserable and downcast. There is a difference.

Today's lyrical post comes from Sarah Macintosh. Heaven is the sweet word that comes to mind when I listen to these words. Moments where I find myself remembering and missing a loved one that has passed away, I think of these words. When I am fed up with the affairs of this life, I think of these words. In every low and dark moment, it is these words in 'We Should Run' that lifts my spirit to a place of joy, peace, and hopeful expectancy. This song is a reminder of what we live for: Christ and to see Him lifted up. Because of Heaven we live to draw people to Him.

Oh the joy of knowing that we will one day 

run with Jesus, 

laugh with Jesus, 

dance with Jesus 

and be alive!

Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled.
Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.
Luke 6:25 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:5

We Should Run, Sarah Macintosh


I waited till the morning
Looking for every sure sign
Listening for footsteps
For when You will take me outta here
People keep on asking
When will we regain life
With the One who’s for us 
Rescue won’t You come

Cause we should run we should be laughing
We should look and see that He is lifted high
We should shout we should be dancing
We should call and find a Savior who’s alive

Someone says Your building
You pull and stretch this old life
Re-shaping what I’ve broken
Till I can see that You’ve been here
People started smiling
Lives are being made right
With the One who’s for us
Rescue You have come!

Now we will run we will be laughing
We will look and see that You are lifted high
Yes we will shout we will be dancing
We will call and find our Savior, You’re alive

Now our feet will run
Yes our eyes they see
And our hearts rejoice
How Your people sing
Hear Your people sing

"and peace I give as a gift"

Are you in need of peace? Peace of mind? Peace of heart? 

Perfect peace which surpasses all understanding is made available to us because the Father longs to give it freely to us, through the Word which is Christ, and produced by the power and work of the Holy Spirit. No positive thinking will ever produce perfect peace. No yoga, meditation, or getaway can give it to us. No messenger of God can fully produce that which only God can do. For any and every situation the Bible is our peace maker, so let's stop seeking our own solutions and go to the source of peace: 

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe. Psalm 4:8

The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. Psalm 9:9-10

The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace. Psalm 29:11

Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble. Psalm 119:165

People who wink at wrong cause trouble, but a bold reproof promotes peace. Proverbs 10:10

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. Proverbs 14:30

Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict. Proverbs 17:1

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. Psalm 16:33

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Romans 12:17-19

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

And now may God, who gives us his peace, be with you all. Amen. Romans 15:33 

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23

 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:6-8

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 
He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.  
He renews my strength. 
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.  
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me.
Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me. 
You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.  
Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Go on, do a word search on peace and be filled. 

Sentence Tuesday

The only thing that ever hinders peace 

is when we refuse to surrender our troubles to God.

—Jack Hayford

His peace, my peace

Teacups of Treasures-

And Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and named it Yahweh-Shalom (which means “the Lord is peace”). The altar remains in Ophrah in the land of the clan of Abiezer to this day. Judges 6:24

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Those who love your instructions have great peace
    and do not stumble. Psalm 119:165

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For those who follow godly paths
    will rest in peace when they die. Isaiah 57:2

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You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 

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I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. 

And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. John 14:27 

Peace may be the very thing you need today. 

Whether you are experiencing the loss of a loved one (as my family is), the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of a material item, or the loss of hope take refuge in God's peace. If life doesn't seem to make sense, read over these verses; pray them and accept God's gift of peace. If you need prayer, email me. 

sentence tuesday

Our greatest need as Christians is for

the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. 

-Raquel Rodriguez

{photo credit}

Lyrical Friday - Reason to Sing

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Life can be likened to Miami weather. You see, in Miami, you can enjoy a nice walk under the sun and a few minutes later find yourself running for cover from the sudden pouring rain. Where did this rain come from? This happened to me yesterday. My Sister and I had planned for a day at beach. Early risers, we set out with our lunch packed, books in hand and plenty of refreshments. We arrived, set out the blanket, sat down and took in the morning breeze (that's when I snapped the picture above). Just as we are about to get in the water, BAM!, it began to rain. What?! Why!? As if by the sound of a trumpet, people grabbed their belongings and left the beach. And so did we.
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The irony of it all is that my sister and I were just talking about what to do when metaphorical storms hit. Are we to make "lemonade" when life gives us lemons? Are we to "dance in the rain" when in a storm? My sister's answer, "Dancing in a storm will get you struck by lightning or swept up by a tornado. Seek refuge instead." We both agreed that those quotes are garbage and the most effective solution is to take refuge. I am reminded of Psalm 9:9, "The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble." My encouragement for you today, to you who may be oppressed and overwhelmed, is to seek refuge in God. In Him you will find peace and calm in the midst of a storm. In Him, hope will arise. In Him, you will have a reason to sing. 
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He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. Psalm 91:4
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In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And His children will have a place of refuge. Proverbs 14:26
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The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:2-4
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I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33
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Reason to Sing, All Sons and Daughters

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When the pieces seem to shatter
To gather off the floor
All that seems to matter
Is that I don't feel you anymore
I don't feel you anymore
-
Chorus:
I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to learn that you are still holding
The whole world in your hands
I need a reason to sing
-
When I'm overcome by fear
And I hate everything I know
If this waiting last forever
I'm afraid I might let go
I'm afraid I might let go
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There is victory
You sing it over me now
Your peace is the melody
You sing it over me
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I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to know that you are still holding
The whole world in your hands
That is a reason to sing

Lyrical Friday - This Is Our God

Happy Friday to You! 

This is our God by Chris Tomlin is one of those songs... You know what I mean, you hear the first few lines and your heart is overcome with a million emotions. I remember the first time I heard these lyrics, it was as if a vicious wave had picked me right off my feet and tossed me around. It became an anthem of all God had done in my life yet at the same time it hung as a banner for all that He has promised to complete. More than a song, it was a prayer for those who have yet to know the depths of His power and love. By the time the worship band had finished, I was found on the "shore line" almost breathless at the wonders of my God. It is my prayer, as it was that very night, that you would know the depths of His power and love. This is our God.

{photo credit}

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This is Our God, Chris Tomlin 


The refuge for the poor
A shelter from the storm
This is our God

He will wipe away your tears 
And return your wasted years
This is our God

So call upon His Name
He is mighty to save
This is our God

A father to the orphan 
A healer to the broken
This is our God

And He brings peace to our madness 
And comfort in our sadness
This is our God
This is our God

So call upon His name
He is mighty to save
This Is Our God

This is/You are the one we have waited for
This is/You are the one we have waited for
This is/You are the one we have waited for
Jesus, Lord and Savior
This is our God

A fountain for the thirsty
A lover for the lonely
This is our God

He brings glory to the humble 
And crowns for the faithful
This is our God

birthday surprise! It's Priscilla.

Happy Tuesday!
Summer of 2007 I had the privilege of traveling oversees, where I met Priscilla. It was so refreshing and sweet to meet a kindred spirit so far from home. As you will read a little more, from Priscilla herself, her upbringing is reflected in her life today: she loves the word of God, she loves God and she loves His people. How can you go wrong with that combo?! Friends, you will be blessed and encouraged by this post!

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A Huge Leap of Faith

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A little over four years ago, I began a relationship with a man who would turn my whole life upside down. I prayed, the Lord gave me peace, and I took a leap of faith. A leap that would change my life completely.

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A little background on myself, I grew up in a Christian home in Palestine, got saved when I was four, and have seen the hand of Lord work miraculously in my life since as far back as I can remember. I have God fearing parents who taught me and my brothers the Word of God. My Dad is a Pastor and he and my Mom taught us to put all our trust in the Lord and to live by faith. 

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Pedro and I were a just a few months away from getting married and we had no place to live. People kept asking me, “So, where are you going to live when you get married, Miami, Bethlehem, Jerusalem?” My answer was a simple “Don’t know, not worried.” My friends and extended family thought I was insane! Not only was I marrying a Dominican from America but I also had no idea where I was going to live. 

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Three months before getting married, I visited Miami to meet Pedro’s family and to visit the church that he attended and worked at. Before I came to Miami I asked the Lord to give me wisdom and to fill my heart with love or hate towards the church I was visiting and towards the place I would potentially call home. I also asked for peace and clarity, I didn’t want to have an ounce of doubt in my mind. I visited CCk and absolutely fell in love! I called my parents right away and told them how awesome the church was, how people are so friendly, how Hispanic culture is very similar to Arab culture, and that I would most likely fit right in. 

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I went back to Bethlehem and it was full on wedding planning mode from then, still not sure of where we would live but I knew that no matter where the Lord wanted us to be, I had peace, perfect peace and no matter what I was ready to take a leap of faith. At this point, it was either me leaving my family and moving or Pedro leaving his family and moving.

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Two months before we got married, I received a text from Pedro letting me know that after much praying our post marriage location had been decided and that we were moving to Miami. I knew I had to obey my future husband who the Lord placed in my life. So many emotions, so many thoughts ran through my mind at this point. I had two months to enjoy my family, plan a wedding, and pack. It hurt! I knew I was going to be loved, I knew I had a good church, and I knew that Pedro’s family would take me in as their own but it still hurt. I told my parents the news about the move and they were devastated but knew that God had a plan for me. A few weeks later my Dad had a heart attack, I blamed myself, I had broken his heart. His only daughter was moving to the other side of the world. 

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I was feeling bittersweet as my Daddy walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, my heart was aching but it was also overjoyed. It ached because I knew I was leaving my friends, my family and my life behind. Overjoyed because I was marrying the perfect man for me, starting a new life, making new friends, and gaining a family. After only being married for two weeks, my two bags were packed, I had said my goodbye’s and I was on a plane with my new husband to Miami- my mission field. 

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We’ve now been married for a little over 3 years and I serve at the best church on the planet with the greatest kids in the world. The ministry that the Lord placed me in, the one He had planned for me, is so rewarding and just to think that I could have missed out on all of it if I hadn’t taken that leap of faith, the leap that changed my life. It took me a few months to fully adjust to my new home and to get over my homesickness but now I don’t see myself anywhere else other than here, well until the Lord tells us to move again. Until then, I enjoy living in the perfect will of God; my Dad always says, “The best place to be, is where the Lord wants you to be” and this is so true.

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I encourage you to take a leap of faith at least once in your life, a leap so great, your life will change for the better. Dive in head first and trust that the Lord, the God that made you, has everything under control and His plans are better than yours, I did and I don’t regret it one bit!

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“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you and give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Lyrical Friday - God is Able

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33

One thing in this world will forever be certain: tribulations. What great hope have those, have we, who believe in Jesus. There is a guarantee of peace that will continually be available. No more fear. No more doubt. No more cowardliness in the face of tribulations. Be of good cheer for God is able- He has overcome the world. 


Sickness? He is able, He has overcome
Brokenness? He is able, He has overcome
Jobless? He is able, He has overcome
Lonely? He is able, He has overcome 
Rejected? He is able, He has overcome
You fill in the blank with the name of your tribulation ________. He is able, He has overcome! 


Proverbs 31:25 is a verse that has prepared me mentally for times of tribulation: She laughs without fear of the future. Now that is the woman I desire to be; who can face tribulation and laugh (be of good cheer)  knowing full well who holds me in the midst of trying times and holds my future all at once. Trust produces peace, peace produces confidence. May today's Lyrical post cause you to believe that God is able to do the seemingly impossible and unimaginable on your behalf! Go ahead, be of good cheer and laugh with out of fear of the future.


God is Able, Joel Houston 



God is able
He will never fail
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things

[Chorus]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things
God is with us
He will go before
He will never leave us
He will never leave us
God is for us
He has open arms
He will never fail us
He will never fail us

For the Lord
Our God is able
For the Lord
Our God is able

Lyrical Friday - Joyful

Yay for Friday!
This Lyrical Friday post is Joyful by Brenton Brown. If you are a bit down and out this song is sure to pick you right up. God is so faithful and amazing. If you are weak, run to God who can fill you with strength. Are you feeling empty, run to God who can fill you with life. Are you in found in darkness and despair, run to God who is light. Whatever it may be that you are lacking, run to God who is the giver of every good and perfect gift- He completes you. May the lyrics of this song wet your appetite for worship. May you run to Jesus and bask in His joy, love and peace.

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day He carries us in his arms. 

Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign LORD rescues us from death. Psalm 68:19-20

Joyful, Brenton Brown 

when the dark cloud of guilt comes around...

hi dear friends.

I wanted to share a few verses with you that are life-savers in my life, especially when the dark cloud of guilt and shame comes over me... Cling to these promises and make them at home in your heart. Wonderful memory verses if you're looking for a few. May the Lord be merciful and gracious to you. May He speak both life and light to the dry and fallow ground of your heart. God bless you!

As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12 

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5

For the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to Him. 2 Chronicles 30:9

For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 1 John 3:20

I will cleanse them of their sins against me and forgive all their sins of rebellion. Jeremiah 33:8

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. Romans 4:7-8

She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because He will save his people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

God exalted Jesus to His own right hand as Prince and Savior that He might bring You and Me to repentance and forgive our sins. Acts 5:21

Lyrical Friday - Come To Save Us

Happy Friday my beloved Readers.
I want you all to know that I have prayed for you this week. My prayer is that God would reveal Himself to you in a real, powerful and special way. At this moment, this season in my life, God is my provider (Jehovah Jireh). I would love to know who is God in your life at this very season. do share!

This week a friend introduced me to Sons and Daughters, Integrity Music's latest worship band. Let me tell you, they have rocked my world this week with today's song: Came to save Us. The simplicity of these lyrics have humbled me. Oh wretched woman that I am, unworthy and undeserving. But the King of kings and Lord of lords has come to save me. He has come to save you. Giving us both value and worth, sharing His glory with us.

Dear Friend, I encourage you to set apart the next few minutes and spend it with Jesus as Sons and Daughters leads you into an amazing time of worship. Don't shy away from the One who saves you.

Our help is in the name of the LORD. Psalm 124:8

Come To Save Us, Sons and Daughters


You have come to save us
You have come to save us
You have come to save us, Lord

You have a way here
You have made the clear
You have come to save us, Lord

Jesus, You're the one who saves us
You're the one who saves us
King of all the other kings on earth

You are the light and fire
You are our desire
You have come to save us, Lord

You're the hope among us
You're the peace that binds us
You have come to save us, Lord

King of all Kings
Lord of all Lords
Light of the World You shine


PS. Please keep my friend Lou in prayer. This past Wednesday He had two surgical procedures done, one being his knee and the other his ankle. Pray for a speedy and effective recovery. Thanks.

keep calm and carry on

Hi Friends!

I was going to share with you my verse for this year BUT... God changed my agenda. lol The video below is from this weekend's service at my home church. Pastor Scott is one of my favorite Bible teachers. He has this amazing gift, he can explain the most complex and complicated parts of scriptures in the most simple and creative ways. And if you watch the video you'll notice his awesome play on words. It's hard not to remember the lessons God desires us to learn when Scott is teaching. I pray that you are both blessed and encouraged.

Stay Calm and Carry On from Calvary Chapel Kendall on Vimeo.

For service times and webcasting click HERE.
For more vimeo from Calvary Chapel Kendall click HERE.

peace...

Hey there!

Peace. No, I'm not saying good-bye. I wanted to share a few verses on peace that I feel the Lord directing me to share with you. A couple of people have mentioned to me, this week alone, how much they yearn for peace. If you find yourself thirsting for peace as well, I will tell you the same thing I have shared with these people: Apart from God there is no peace! The word of God is God. Therefore, let's seek His Word to know the God of all peace. May the Lord comfort you and make you bold with strength.

[*If you have time right now read 2 Samuel 22- or read it later*]

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
-Psalm 27:1

Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God; He will come and save you.
-Isaiah 35:4
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
-Philippian 4:6-8

You will keep [insert your name here] in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because [insert your name here] trusts in You.
-Isaiah 26:3

Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
-Luke 12:32
The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
-Proverbs 18:10

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory.
-Ephesians 3:20-21
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe.
-Proverbs 29:25

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
-Romans 5:1

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.-Psalm 4:8
 
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts; and be thankful.
-Colossians 3:15
 
Do not forget my law, but let your heart keep my commands; for length of days and long life and peace they will add to you.
-Proverbs 3:1-2

Mark the blameless man, and observe the upright; for the future of that man is peace.
-Psalm 37:37
 
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
-2 Timothy 2:22
 
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
-Proverbs 31:25

tassels

 Again the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the children of Israel: Tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a blue thread in the tassels of the corners. And you shall have the tassel, that you may look upon it and remember all the commandments of the LORD and do them, and that you may not follow the harlotry to which your own heart and your own eyes are inclined, and that you may remember and do all My commandments, and be holy for your God. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the LORD your God.” Numbers 15:37-41

When you see someone wearing a specific item you know a little bit of who they are or what they do:
Superheroes wear tights and capes.
Cops wear badges.
Buddist Monks wear robes.
Scottish Men wear kilts.
Chefs wear aprons.
Muslim Women wear hijabs.
Athletes wear uniforms.
Soccer Moms wear khaki capris, polo shirts and keds.
and in this case: God's chosen people wore tassels.

These tassels not only served as a reminder to the Jews of all that God had done for them but also to distinguish them from the Gentiles. As a Christian today, what sets you apart as God's beloved? As I read this passage tonight, I stopped and wondered, is it noticable that I am a Christian or do I blend in with this world? Do my actions set me apart? Does my speech? How about my spending? Or in the way I relate to food, drinking and bodily intake? Do the clothes I wear bring honor to God?... Does my life shout to the world that I am set apart for God? Does my life reflect holiness?

As I reflected deeper, two scriptures came to mind:

For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:3

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

If I am abiding with Christ, obeying God's word and truly submitting myself to God's perfect will, soon enough the fruits of the Spirit begin to flow in and through my life. Without a doubt in my mind when we, God's people, live the kind of life that is saturared with the fruits of the Spirit (of pure joy, of peace, longsuffering, goodness to all, faithfulness in all that we do, with self control) the world will know that we are different; a chosen generation, God's special people, a holy nation.

I encourage you to live in such a way that the fruits of the Spirit would grow on us as tassels. My prayer is that others would see these "tassels" flowing in and through our lives and know for sure that we are set apart and that we belong to God. May everything about our being reflect Jesus.

*Click here for Matthew Henry's Commentary on Numbers 15.

Raindrops Crying For Me

Poetry has always been an outlet for me, though most of the time, the only source of venting. I found that through poetry I didn’t have to play masquerade. Growing up I struggled with anxiety, control, neglect, loneliness and a deep feeling of unworthiness. Often times I found myself unable to cry just drained. It was in the secret chamber of a journal and a pen that found courage to share all that was within me. Many times I would write and toss away my poetry out of fear of being exposed for what I felt and who I was- a depressed and angry individual. Today I stand in awe of all that God has done for me. I have peace which surpasses all understanding and joy unending. And true that I struggle to maintain that peace and joy, but God is faithful to strengthen me with boldness and courage so that I can embrace His sweet liberty.

I have never really shared much of my early poetry, because I felt that in sharing those dark writings, that I in a way would have watered down what Christ has done for me. I have recently begun to accept, that while I don’t share who I was, the power of Christ which set me free cannot be seen. I pray that as you continue reading, you would be encouraged to share your story of redemption. I also pray, that if you are caught in the same prison that I was in at the time in my life when I wrote this that you would cry out to God. After reading these poems I will include a part of scripture that has helped me countless of times as I am found in the valley of the shadows of death. As I shared with someone today, may you find peace in His presence and joy in the promises of His Word.

Raindrops fall down my cheeks
Crying for my eyes
My distended heart has no more sorrow
No more breathing space for happiness
It has all been taken up in vain
Life lessons uncalled for
Too many to count
Cloudy smiles and sunny frowns
Never found but both so real
Hidden corners and windows shut
Impossible it seems
Lonely with my pain
Being only me
No shadow following
In ran away you see
Raindrops fall down my cheeks
Crying for my eyes.

Another one I wrote in continuation to Raindrops Crying For Me:

Far way from here
Imprisoned in my mind
Alone without a shadow
As a fool I want to die
Provoked into a cyclone of fury
Like cold rain my tears just fall
Imagining your voice
I yearn to bask on fire
I daze into my hatred
Oh soliltude
Set me free.

Isaiah 26:3-4, "You [God] will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock."

college & career group

Flee also youthful lusts;

but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace

with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

As I have shared with you all a few days ago, the Lord has been answering prayers, doing new things and He has me in the middle of it all. I will share a little bit of that today. A month ago I met at a local Starbucks with friends, acquaintances and strangers. We all shared our testimonies and then headed to my home for a lovely time of worship. That night a lot of things began to make sense and fall into place. It was as if God was finally removing the blindfold and I was able to see why He had me waiting on blind faith.

For quite some time I (along with many others) had been praying for a College & Career group (C&C) to start at my home church. Mainly my prayer was for God to rise up godly men with the calling and anointing for this ministry need. It took sometime, but God answered. That night at Starbucks I was filled with joy to see the fervent love and zeal that these men have for my Jesus. That night my prayer changed to praise with thanksgiving.

I had been praying waiting (for what seemed like eternity) on God’s call to rise and spring forth. He promised a road in the wilderness and a river in the desert. Up until the Starbucks night I thought the Lord was going to send me out to do long term mission’s work but I didn’t have peace and felt the Lord telling me not now. That night I prayed for God to confirm to me if C&C is where He wanted me until He called me out to a new adventure. Immediately He spoke and confirmed.

So let’s fast forward now a month later… The guys that God has called to this ministry are the real deal- prayer warriors; saturated in the Holy Spirit and gleaning in God’s word daily… they love God and love people. As I taste and see the Lord’s goodness I am truly humbled by His faithfulness. 2 Timothy 2:22 has taken a new meaning. I am a witness to a group of young men and young women who hunger and thirst for more of God’s Word. Week after week more people come, to the point that we have outgrown my home.

My heart is overwhelmed and excited with all that the Lord is doing through four people who are head over heels in love with God. I am stoked for what He has yet to do. We have amazing Pastors that are so helpful, loving, patient and encouraging. I have to be honest with you, when I take a step back and look at the people He has chosen for this task I can’t help but laugh, mostly at myself! He definitely chooses the foolish things of this world, lol- that’s how we know that this is not by our strength, by wit or charm but ONLY by His precious, glorious, holy and majestic Spirit.

Keep us in prayer and as the days, weeks, months roll by I will keep you posted.

These aren't current pictures.

my friends that call on the Lord out of pure hearts :-)