Birthday Surprise! It's Sahrae.

Happy Saturday! With today's special post by Miss Sahrae Rivas, we conclude our Birthday Series for 2013. I have been very blessed by all the Birthday Surprises, and I have heard from many of you that the series has been a gust of encouragement for you as well. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, as today's post is for all the single ladies!

photo credit 

28... That’s how old I turned last week. A mere two years away from the so-called dreaded big three 0. It’s the age where the little Cuban old ladies turn their knees black and blue in prayer for you! The stigma of finding out you are still single and without hope of a prospect to can change your status. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I hear “póngase las pilas” meaning get your act together. I have been asked if I have picked out the names of my future cats! I even had a coworker tell me they thought of me as they watched the news the night before, the report being about an 83 year old woman who had gotten married, FOR THE FIRST TIME! I was then told that there is still hope.Really?! My response to all these antiquated ideas that I should be married with 5 children and 1 on the way is simply: I wouldn’t have it any other way!


I could sit around, and mope, and keep pleading with God as to when this seemingly long “single” stage of my life will be over. I could cry. I could even settle, out of desperation, for any guy. Settling whether to fill a void, or to stop all the questions, more like harassment, of when am I getting married. And its not to say that I haven’t made mistakes, but God has been good and faithful to me (because I wasn't of much help to myself obviously). Being single has not been a prison sentence; it has been an awesome season in my life of self discovery.

As single woman, we need to use this time wisely. It’s not going to last forever. I want God to use me. My prayer has been, "Here I am Lord, send me!" I desire for Him to use me to do great works for His kingdom, to overcome those works that seem impossible. I hope to live my single life mentoring and encouraging young girls. I want him to squeeze every last drop of my gifts and talents during this season of my life; because I know that it will end.

I’ve been blessed to have encountered amazing wives and moms who have spoken so much wisdom and truth into my life. However, the most common feedback I get from the majority is, how they wish they had enjoyed more freedom in their youth. Not that they don't love their husbands and children, but they have different priorities and responsibilities. I truly appreciate their honesty. It encourages me and reminds me to live my life to the fullest. Because I know the day will come when I can no longer travel to Haiti whenever I want. The day will come when I won’t be able to grab dinner with my friends or head on impromptu road trips. The day will come when I won’t be able to serve full force with no hesitation in my ministry. But that’s OK, because I know it means my ministry will have changed. It will mean that the man that God has been preparing for me, my match in every way, who will lead me and our Children in the ways of the Lord, will have arrived... and they will be my ministry.

My encouragement to you.
Don’t allow any one to lead you to believe that it’s shameful to be single in your late 20s, or at any age. Bask in the freedom!! Ladies, use this season to take notes! Soak up wisdom from Godly women... like sponges! I have a list I’ve entitled “future references notes”. I keep it in my head. It’s all the advice and insight I’ve received from woman in my sphere of influence about marriage and kids, and life. I am so grateful that I’ve had these years to take notes and learn from others mistakes, mishaps, and life so that I don’t make the same. I feel so much better prepared for not only marriage but life, as all this wisdom has been poured into my life.

God is perfect in everything He does. You can either endure your days wallowing and complaining to God. You could continue believing that He must have gotten you mixed up with the girl next door who wants to be single. Or you can spend your days believing that God has you here for a reason. Seek, knock and search for His will. Be distracted living a life that glorifies Him. Enjoying the fullness of the abundant life He has before you. And before you realize it, the person God has for you is walking alongside you, hand in hand.

While in this season of my life, I am ready to go wherever God calls me; to do whatever He tells me. I’m not going to spend my days wishing, hoping, and waiting. I’m going to spend them laughing, loving, and living! I know God is good, I know He is faithful. So until the day arrives when my status changes from "single" to "married", I want to spend these years shinning my light for Gods glory. I encourage all my fellow ladies to do the same, live a life of reckless abandonment for the King of Kings. Live your life like there is no tomorrow. I am 28... and Single... and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Birthday Surprise. It's Alejandro!

Happy Monday! I am so excited to share with you today's birthday surprise! Alejandro is a talented photographer but most importantly a devoted man of God. He proved to be worthy of my friend's affection and love, therefore, making him worthy of my admiration. Without further ado, here is his post... from the heart of God to Alejandro's heart, and now to yours.
-

[photo credit]

Good morning readers!

I wanted to first thank Raquel for allowing me to post my thoughts on her amazing blog. I got to meet her through my lovely fiance Jessica. Raquel is a true encouragement to those around her and I am glad to know such an awesome woman of God.  The ideas on this blog post are mine but some of the information was derived from a bible study I also attended called 'Men’s Fraternity'. It truly revolutionized my view on who I am and how to live as a man.

The real secret of meeting the man of your dreams: This post is to let you ladies in on a secret, the true secret to find the right man in your life; and that is no joke. Men may be upset that I am sharing this with you, but oh well. I will share with you not from a general standpoint but from personal experience.

In order to find this amazing man, you have travel back in time to understand where the good men could be found today. Since America began the Industrial revolution to move our society forward, it pulled men away from their homes for long and strenuous hours in factories, mines, and other types of industries which were very time consuming. In doing so, the boys were left at home with their mothers to raise them. There is nothing wrong with a boy being raised with mom, but until this point boys worked alongside their fathers and the values of being a man were instilled in them by the their fathers. 

Fast forward a few years to the First World War. Men were sent off to war, and experienced horrific things, only to return home jaded. They became closed off to their boys at home. They couldn't the terrible things they saw and more importantly kept an emotional distance from them. A few more years into the future, we are starting to bring equality to women. (Women stay with me here, I am all for the equal rights. But if you see how it truly turned out you will understand where I am going.) What happened in the long run wasn't just the right to vote, drive a car, and equal pay for equal jobs, but men felt that meant a woman was asking to be left to do things alone. It became “what you can do I can do better” and women were now left to raising kids and working multiple jobs to keep up. Men just closed out after so many years. 

The result, well you see it, men are acting like boys with facial hair: living with mom, standing in line for hours to get the latest video games, not committing to anything of importance, even worse, not standing for anything.  This is the sad state we are currently in and it is not that there isn't any good men in our churches, men are not present anywhere.  Ladies your pick in men has dwindled down to a kid’s pool and they are not the ones ready to lead you in your marriage. 

And here you started to read this blog post and thought that I would give you the magic bullet to find the perfect man.  Sorry, I didn't come through in the way you might have thought, but what I will do is give you four things to look for as FRUIT of a real man.

1.     A real man will lead courageously:  This doesn't mean he will boss everyone around implying he is right.  It means he will take guidance from those above him, respect everyone’s opinion, and lead his family or those around him with unconditional love, sacrificing his own desires for the good of those entrusted to him. Ephesians 5:25 

2.    A real man will accept responsibility:  Men have a tendency to excuse themselves quite often.  I struggle with this myself and realize it is because it is easier to explain why I did something instead of accepting responsibility for my decisions.  Men have to be willing to own up to their actions/decisions.  Not shifting blame by doing a matrix move out of the way.

3.    A real man rejects being passive:  He isn't indifferent about life or God and the things of God.  He is always the initiator and is never a spectator. Jesus is our example in that He wasn't a watching bystander; He got his hands dirty when the moment called for it. John 2:14-15 

4.    A real man expects the greater reward from God:  He is not looking for a quick fix satisfaction but delays the gratification with an eternal perspective.  Not acting out of the desire for the approval of those around him but only seeking the words from God, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21 

I would like to say that this is not easy for any man to accomplish on his own.  He needs to have a team of brothers alongside him, praying and fasting for one another. A man, who is a “loner”, is a weak man.  He cannot stand alone. He needs to have a healthy relationship with God and desire God on his own will, not yours. I know this is a lot to read, but trust me when I say they are men out there but you need to just “wait and see”. Jesus spoke of waiting to see the fruit from people who claim to be prophets:

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?  Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Matt 7:16-20

Sometimes you just need to wait and see for those four indicators of a real man. This man will not be perfect because believe me, I am working at these and I fail, but knowing I have Jesus on my corner helps. The support of those who also are pursing God is a GREAT. I hope this encourages and gives you hope as God takes you on this journey.

May God’s peace cover your hearts and guide you to a new place in your journey with Him. God bless. 

Alejandro

Let's talk about sex, baby!

Happy Wednesday. A few months ago, I asked my friend to write a post on purity and she delivered... a whole lot of yada! Take the time to read this post and share with your friends.
-
Let's talk about sex, baby!
by Stephanie Landa
-
Have you ever wondered why God wants to protect the sacredness of sex for after marriage? Perhaps you're tired of hearing all the messages about purity/abstinence. It seems as though everyone is having sex, and you question what is the point of waiting after marriage for sex. “One side says condoms and sexual freedom are the answer to youthful clamoring about sex. The other, slides silver rings on the fingers of teens and hopes these miniature chastity belts will protect them in moments of temptation. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Is there a middle ground? Can anybody claim to have clear and certain answers?” – Dannah Gresh
-
What if I were to tell you that there is something no one has ever told you about sex? Would you believe me? Well, last night as I was a reading, “What Are You Waiting For? The One Thing No One Ever Tells you about sex” by Dannah Gresh, I came across a profound truth that I could not keep to myself and had to, just had to, share with you. In Genesis 4:1 we read, “Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant.” They were obviously not just laying” there! Gresh grabbed a Hebrew dictionary; she searched for the meaning of “lay” in the sentence. Gresh found the Hebrew word for sex is yada. Yes! The word we most often use to communicate a sense of boredom, is not so “blah, blah, blah.” The definition of the word yada is “to know, to be known, and to be deeply respected.”
-
“Almost every woman can admit that she isn’t really yearning for a physical touch in her sexual encounters, but is seeking a deep emotional caressing. For men, most of them, want to know they have what it takes to receive your admiration. They yearn to be deeply respected.” –Gresh
-
Out of curiosity, Gresh researched how many times this word (yada) shows up in the Hebrew Old Testament. It is used more than nine hundred times. Now, that’s a lot of yada! It gets even better…
-
A couple of other passages that mention yada are Genesis 4:17, Genesis 4:25, Genesis 24:16, 1 Samuel 1:19-20, just to name a few. Several times, the word is used to convey a deep emotional knowing and mutual respect between a naked man and wife. The word yada is used most commonly in a verse like this: “Be still and know [yada] that I am God.” –Psalm 46:10. It’s clear from this verse that yada isn’t about a merely physical act. Yada is a word of intimacy that goes beyond the physical to describe the whole knowing of a person.
-
“O Lord, you have searched me and you know [yada] me. You know [yada] when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar…” –Psalm 139 Feel free to read the rest of Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16, 23 and be prepared to be blown away and humbled by God’s grace and love. “When you are in intimate physical and emotional communion with your husband, it will be a mere picture of the passionate love of a God who has been seeking your heart since before you were born.” –Gresh
-
This is the one thing no one has ever told you about sex: it’s an exquisite revelation of a much Greater Love.
--
God is trying to direct our attention to a portrait that comes close to helping us understand. That portrait is pure, holy marriage. In that sacred place alone do we find a taste of the intimacy we can have with a living, loving God. Maybe that’s why the word yada can be traced from Genesis to Revelation. We must be remind us of what true intimacy looks like, for we have drifted far from the truth. 

- 

So there it is, Ladies and Gents!  Now go, ponder, and digest this information while falling at the feet of Christ and praising Him for His goodness and unconditional love. I hope this information has given you a greater understanding and has answered your question, “What is the point?” One more thing, please do not drown in the lies of the enemy making you feel unworthy because of your past. God is relentlessly seeking you and loves you for you, despite your past, recent, and future hiccups.

 -

*If you have not read the book, “What Are You Waiting For? The One Thing No One Ever Tells you about sex” by Dannah Gresh…I totally recommend it. Get it HERE. 

Single and waiting for Mr.Perfect

Does your singleness feel like a game of hide-and-seek? "Come out, come out, wherever you are" is becoming more of a command than a silly script from a children's game. Have you searched high and low, near and far with no luck? Are you tired of waiting and Mr.Perfect is nowhere to be found? Can I get a witness?!

Let's first look at the qualities of Mr.Perfect: He should already come with built-in features such as love, romance, intimacy, adventure, humor and desire. Other qualities that Mr.Perfect will possess are gentleness, kindness, friendliness, approachable, graceful yet warrior-like, honest, and faithful. Now I ask you, upon reading this amazing list of qualities, can Mr. Perfect truly exist all in one person? Or is it OK to settle our hearts with an almost Mr.Perfect? I'm here to tell you that Mr.Perfect does exist. 

It may just be that you are looking for Him in all the wrong places. 

If you want good pizza, you don't go to McDonalds.

If you want running shoes, you don't go to the local supermarket. 

If you want to watch a live baseball game, you go to the stadium.

If you want a beautiful dress, you go to a boutique. 

If you want a hair cut, you go to a beauty salon. 

You catch my drift. 

If Mr.Perfect is who you are searching for, stop looking at the world and fix your eyes upon Jesus. Take notice, if I was to describe Him, you would jump on the wagon: "Single male, 33 years old, Christian, loves God, man of prayer, teacher of the Word, friendly, family oriented, loves children, loves adventure, traveling, carpenter, doctor, cook, fisherman, and all around good guy, self sacrificing and saving himself for his bride." Granted, the list describing Jesus is massive but based on these, any single woman in a right state of mind would yell out, "Hubba! Hubba! Bring it on." 

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
⁶ For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.

Isaiah 54:4-5

My beloved sisters, Mr.Perfect is not in hiding, nor is He too high or too low from your reach, nor too far but He is near. He is a thought away and a prayer away. He has known you before you were even conceived or even known in your mother's womb. He knew you by name. He knew what color hair you would have, how far apart your eyes would be, how long (or short) your legs were to be and even how fast your heart would beat. He knew that you would laugh, that you would also cry. He knew that you would long for love and intimacy. But He also knew that you would be a sinner and because you are not perfect as He is, a right relationship would be wrong and impossible. And so He did what no man would ever do and what no man could ever do, what only a perfect man should do; He took on your sin, your debt, and your punishment and removed it from you as far as the east is from the west. And because He is God, He has made you new. Because of His righteousness, you can now enter into relationship with Him. Mr.Perfect, the Gentlemen of all gentlemen, has initiated a pursuance of your heart... How will you respond?

My challenge to you, date Mr.Perfect! Yes, it is possible to do. Prayer is how we talk to Him, and His Word is how He speaks to us. He has proved His great love to us on the cross and daily as He loads us with benefits and blessings. We prove our love to Him through obedience, worship and serving others. The amazing thing is that we don't have to hide a good thing when we find it, and our relationship with Jesus is a good thing that is to be shared. And like any relationship, not everyone will approve but the best way to prove them wrong is by building a strong relationship that makes you a better person at the same time. So let's get working! You may be single in status, but I'll tell you what, betrothed in heart to the most amazing Mr.Perfect. And one day, you will See Him face to face and hear Him say: You are Mine and I am yours.

Off on a date with Mr.Perfect,
The Single Lily


Follow @whereismyboaz on Twitter

I'm Still Single

Being single can be likened to a restaurant visit. You are hungry, and when you arrive, there is a waiting list. You wait out your turn; the host/hostess takes you to your table. They lead you to believe that your waiter/waitress will be right with you. Not fully understanding just how hungry you are; they leave you alone, with a menu of deliciousness, to wait even longer. The waiter/waitress finally arrives and asks you what you would like to drink. That's when you say, "I'm ready to order." They give you that look of, "Buddy, hold your horses! One thing at a time." Despite their efforts to only serve you a beverage, you place your order. What a surprise! You have to wait and wait some more. By now your hunger pain is more like an 8.0 earthquake in your belly. Your mouth waters at the thought of food. You look unto every plate that passes you and think to yourself, "Could that be my food?" Due to your level of hunger and impatience, you somehow start to believe that yes, every plate coming out of the kitchen is yours. What a let down when they pass you by. You look around and realize that everyone else has their food. Where is your food? Will it ever come? That all changes at the sighting of your favorite person (your waiter/waitress) coming out of the kitchen, walking straight to you, plate in hand [insert slow motion, dimmed lights and Barry White singing 'You Sexy Thing']. Oh Yeah, we do believe in miracles! Your food has arrived... I'll leave you two alone. 

Singleness is not the present day plague or famine; you will survive this! The cliche thing to say would be, "Enjoy your singleness." Who hasn't heard that one?! To this I say, how can anyone enjoy hunger? How can a place of loneliness and emptiness be of any good? My friends, I believe the game-changer for us is found in a new perspective. 

I once heard a story that goes a little like this: There were two young brothers. One was a pessimist while the other was a bubbly optimist. The boys' Father decided that it was his job to teach each boy a lesson: to the pessimist that life has glory moments and to the optimist that life is not always perfect. The next day when the boys arrived home from school, they found presents in each of their rooms. The pessimistic brother found a new TV in his room along with a brand new Xbox 360 with the latest games. The Dad was thrilled and eagerly awaiting a reaction from his son. To the Father's surprise, his pessimistic son looked down and moped around the room. He said to him, "Son, look at the new things I bought you. Isn't life great?" The son replied, "It's nice, but all these models will soon be old models and the games will not be the latest." The Father was a bit disappointed. He then goes to the room of the optimistic son. He had placed a rather large box in the middle of his room, about 5 feet tall and filled almost to the top with manure. To his surprise, he found his son in the box scooping the manure. He asked, "What are you doing?" The son replied, "With all this manure, there must be a pony in this box." (Thank you Therese Gomez for this story)

It is all about perspective. Rather than accepting your singleness as a plague, famine, disease, curse, or what not, accept it for what it is: a gift from God. Yes, it is a gift. Every season given to us is a gift from God. Singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. Widowhood is a gift. And what does the Bible say about gifts? James 1:17 puts it best, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." Our singleness is both good and perfect. Our singleness comes from the Father. And in our good and perfect Father there is no deceitfulness. Romans 12:2 reminds us that God's will is good, acceptable, and perfect. If, like myself, you find yourself single, you can stand on the truth that God's will is good, it is acceptable, and it is perfect. I pray you understand this. Singleness is acceptable. 

My challenge to you is this: pray for a new perspective. As you accept this good and perfect gift, search God's word for scriptures that will feed your hungry-single heart. Yes, I am still comparing singleness to hunger. Matthew 15:32 paints a picture of how Jesus cares for us in the single community along with oh, you know, the entire world, "Now Jesus called His disciples to Himself and said, “I have compassion on the multitude, because they have now continued with Me three days and have nothing to eat. And I do not want to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way." I hope you get that. He 1) Has compassion for you 2) He has taken notice of your walk 3) He will feed you. May this be of encouragement to you as you wait. Accept God's gift joyfully for God cares for you, He has taken notice of what you lack and He will respond. Take courage. 

Off to get my breakfast on, 

The Single Lily 

scriptures to feed on: Psalm 27:13-14, Psalm 34:8, Psalm 107:9, Psalm 103:1-5, Psalm 119:9, Psalm 119:103, Psalm 138:3, Psalm 147:14, 

Follow @whereismyboaz on Twitter 

I'm Single... today

Hi, I'm Raquel and I'm Single. I am no Relationship expert, and the direction of this blog has never been about one or the other. But the Lord has called me to address the season of singleness with those who are single... and think they are ready to mingle! LOL

Let's be real, If you're single, chances are you want to change that status. And so do those around you, those who want to fix this "problem" for you. I am guilty of both. From the beginning of time, looking at the first human ever created, the Bible tells us that it was not good for Adam to be alone. Reading Genesis 2 brings a question to mind, why was it not good to be single?  I'm no theologian or Bible expert, but I can tell you from my experience why being alone is not good, and it comes from Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up." And to this problemo, God has made a solution: God sets the solitary in families- Psalm 68:6. 

In my loneliest moments of being single, I have seen the hand of God shift my sorrow into gladness as He placed me in family-type settings. For example: Bible study groups/small groups, friends, coworker, new family members, ministry opportunities and I'm sure I'm leaving out other family-type groups that have been a three-fold cord in my walk with Jesus. God has shown me that in my season of singleness, I am not alone. Yes, the cliche thing to say would be, "You are not alone; God is with you." But truth is, He is with you AND He also places the solitary in families. We pray for companionship and He does answer our prayers; not necessarily in the form that we want it, but He satisfies our lonely hearts. If you don't have a family-type group, pray for one. Pray for a three-fold cord friendship in your life. It may come in the least expected form, but when it's from the Lord, woah! is it good. (It may just be that ministry opportunity that you are running from).

I don't know your situation, I don't know your season in life or even how long the season will last, but you are in it today, so what are you to do with it? Matthew 6:34 answers this question for us, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." What this means to me is, if I am single today, it's because the Lord wills for me to be single, so today I will be the best single I can be for His glory. My encouragement and challenge to you my single friend: be the best single today. I don't know what the Lord has for us tomorrow. We'll worry about that when it comes. 

Signing out, 

The Single Lily

Follow @whereismyboaz on Twitter