Good morning readers!
I wanted to first thank Raquel for allowing me to post my thoughts on her amazing blog. I got to meet her through my lovely fiance Jessica. Raquel is a true encouragement to those around her and I am glad to know such an awesome woman of God. The ideas on this blog post are mine but some of the information was derived from a bible study I also attended called 'Men’s Fraternity'. It truly revolutionized my view on who I am and how to live as a man.
The real secret of meeting the man of your dreams: This post is to let you ladies in on a secret, the true secret to find the right man in your life; and that is no joke. Men may be upset that I am sharing this with you, but oh well. I will share with you not from a general standpoint but from personal experience.
In order to find this amazing man, you have travel back in time to understand where the good men could be found today. Since America began the Industrial revolution to move our society forward, it pulled men away from their homes for long and strenuous hours in factories, mines, and other types of industries which were very time consuming. In doing so, the boys were left at home with their mothers to raise them. There is nothing wrong with a boy being raised with mom, but until this point boys worked alongside their fathers and the values of being a man were instilled in them by the their fathers.
Fast forward a few years to the First World War. Men were sent off to war, and experienced horrific things, only to return home jaded. They became closed off to their boys at home. They couldn't the terrible things they saw and more importantly kept an emotional distance from them. A few more years into the future, we are starting to bring equality to women. (Women stay with me here, I am all for the equal rights. But if you see how it truly turned out you will understand where I am going.) What happened in the long run wasn't just the right to vote, drive a car, and equal pay for equal jobs, but men felt that meant a woman was asking to be left to do things alone. It became “what you can do I can do better” and women were now left to raising kids and working multiple jobs to keep up. Men just closed out after so many years.
The result, well you see it, men are acting like boys with facial hair: living with mom, standing in line for hours to get the latest video games, not committing to anything of importance, even worse, not standing for anything. This is the sad state we are currently in and it is not that there isn't any good men in our churches, men are not present anywhere. Ladies your pick in men has dwindled down to a kid’s pool and they are not the ones ready to lead you in your marriage.
And here you started to read this blog post and thought that I would give you the magic bullet to find the perfect man. Sorry, I didn't come through in the way you might have thought, but what I will do is give you four things to look for as FRUIT of a real man.
1. A real man will lead courageously: This doesn't mean he will boss everyone around implying he is right. It means he will take guidance from those above him, respect everyone’s opinion, and lead his family or those around him with unconditional love, sacrificing his own desires for the good of those entrusted to him. Ephesians 5:25
2. A real man will accept responsibility: Men have a tendency to excuse themselves quite often. I struggle with this myself and realize it is because it is easier to explain why I did something instead of accepting responsibility for my decisions. Men have to be willing to own up to their actions/decisions. Not shifting blame by doing a matrix move out of the way.
3. A real man rejects being passive: He isn't indifferent about life or God and the things of God. He is always the initiator and is never a spectator. Jesus is our example in that He wasn't a watching bystander; He got his hands dirty when the moment called for it. John 2:14-15
4. A real man expects the greater reward from God: He is not looking for a quick fix satisfaction but delays the gratification with an eternal perspective. Not acting out of the desire for the approval of those around him but only seeking the words from God, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21
I would like to say that this is not easy for any man to accomplish on his own. He needs to have a team of brothers alongside him, praying and fasting for one another. A man, who is a “loner”, is a weak man. He cannot stand alone. He needs to have a healthy relationship with God and desire God on his own will, not yours. I know this is a lot to read, but trust me when I say they are men out there but you need to just “wait and see”. Jesus spoke of waiting to see the fruit from people who claim to be prophets:
By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Matt 7:16-20
Sometimes you just need to wait and see for those four indicators of a real man. This man will not be perfect because believe me, I am working at these and I fail, but knowing I have Jesus on my corner helps. The support of those who also are pursing God is a GREAT. I hope this encourages and gives you hope as God takes you on this journey.
May God’s peace cover your hearts and guide you to a new place in your journey with Him. God bless.