Birthday Surprise. It's Stephanie!

My favorite holiday is here and with it a very special post by one of my favorite people. For those who don't know Stephanie, she is vibrant, enthusiastic and encouraging. And to those who know her, we can all say we are better people because she is in our lives. May this special Thanksgiving post speak comfort and joy to your heart. 
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[photo credit]

To be completely honest, I wanted to decline Raquel’s offer when she first asked me to be a guest blogger. Why? I let fear paralyze me at that moment and I had no idea what to write about, BUT I heard a firm response from God, “Yes, you WILL write and you WILL share what you have learned!” I immediately knew exactly what He was talking about. So here it goes…

Back in February, I attended an amazing conference. Prior to this conference, I was ecstatic to volunteer and serve at the conference, but God gave me a clear “No!” I was crushed and confused because my heart’s desire is to serve others, but I knew that God wanted me to be still, sit back, and hear from Him. It would be me and Him, nothing else!

Throughout the conference God was moving in my heart. The night Hillsong United led worship, God revealed something to me. You see, God exposed  the ugliness of my heart to me and unfolded a deeper layer that I had no idea was lying inside of my heart. I knew then this was one of the reasons God wanted me to sit out, and not volunteer at the conference. I suddenly broke out in tears and felt my knees suddenly collapse.  I felt ashamed and embarrassed. God revealed to me that I was angry. Angry with Him! “What?!? How could this be? I’m so head over heels in love with Him! How could I have been angry and in love with Him all at the same time?

Rewind …

Way before attending this conference, I had been trying to pass one of the tests to become a teacher. It had taken me a little well over a year to pass it. While many eagerly waited to start the New Year, I was taking into the New Year a heavy burden of frustration. Throughout that time of test after test, I felt like I done everything humanly possible to pass. I bought books, hired tutors, listened to cds, attended workshops, and more. My next train of thought was, “My failing MUST be because I’m not spiritual enough?” (At this point, I had no idea where my head was at.) I then proceeded into trying to do all the “Christian stuff” so that I can hopefully gain God’s favor and mercy to pass the test. (Side note: This is so far from God’s truth…We do NOT have to gain His love, it’s unconditional nor do we have to work to receive His favor/mercy/grace) I fasted. I prayed. I went to church. I sought Biblical counsel. I read my Bible. I had done anything and everything. I knew for sure God was going to hook it up and open the door for me to pass. Yeah, NO! The next time I went to take it, I read in big fat letters, “Not pass!” “What? God, how could this be? You MUST be mad at me!”

Fast-forward to the conference …

“Angry? Why would I be angry with God?” It then dawned on me that I was angry because the thought of God forsaking me, and not giving me the desires of my own selfish heart, had been lingering inside of me. I had been feeling let down by God. I felt like my prayers were hitting the roof and not heaven. Why wouldn’t God turn to me and allow for me to pass the test? “C’mon God, You created everything in 6 days... Can’t you just make it happen and allow this miracle to take place?!” I would have never imagined, in my wildest dreams, that I would reach the point of being angry with my God.

After I left the conference, I confessed to my boyfriend all that I had been hidden in my heart. We prayed, and I instantly felt God’s love and healing hand over my heart and life. God’s faithfulness revealed to me yet once again. “CONFESS your sins to each other and pray for one another so that you may be HEALED.” James 5:16.

Thanksgiving is here! What am I thankful for? Well, I’m thankful for God’s strength. He gave me strength to push forward even when I thought I could not take one more step or one more test. I took that test 7 times! If it was not for Him, I would have easily given up probably after the 3^rd time of not passing it. I was stubborn (hence me having to take it 7 times) and God wanted me to gain radical faith in trusting Him with my life even when things don’t “fall in place.” I’m thankful that though this sin had been residing in my heart, God’s love did not change.

I learned many things during that season of my life. I can honestly say that though storms may come, and they will come, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. I encourage you to dig deep and pray even when it seems as if you can not mutter out a single word to God. Prayer not only changes things, but it changes YOU!

“BE THANKFUL IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, 

for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. 

Tell God what you need and THANK HIM for all he has done.” –Philippians 4:6

“When everything seems like it’s falling apart, 

that’s when God is putting things back together just the way He wants it.” 

One last thing, though God did not answer my prayer on my timeline to pass the test, He did do something far more imaginable. He gave me the gift of faith! Faith to truly trust God with my life, with my future, even when all else fails.

Happy Thanksgiving!

partakers of the consolation

Hi Friends.

Trials, tribulations and heartaches can be oppressive, burdensome, exhausting and more often than not you feel alone in the battle. In the Bible we find truth and promises that will uphold us and strengthen us through those dark valleys. And though the valley can be sinister, frightening, threatening and unbearable it can also produce in us perseverance, character and hope. Looking back, God has worked out the good, the bad and the ugly in my own life for my good. Though some trials seemed to be the end of me, they were not and at the end I was victorious in Christ and made whole by Him.

I find it comical how past experiences that impaired us spiritually, emotionally and/or physically can be used greatly in the future to save someone. Yesterday I met up with a friend who wanted to talk and vent. She found herself in a valley; a well-known valley that I was familiar with. It was heart breaking to hear her speak because I know how tough walking through that valley is. But God, who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, carried me through it. And in sharing my story with her I was able to paint a picture of God’s faithfulness to her. It was also a WARNING sign for her of what not do, so that she would not go in the course of the same heartache that I went through because of my mistakes, disobedience and rebellion. Looking back to that season of my life, that I so often wish to erase, and looking forward today to the other girls that are walking through that common valley, I can say that it was worth it if it can comfort, guide or save one person from the misery that it caused me.

If you find yourself in a dark valley today, know that God is for you not against you. One day you too will look back at this very trial and will be able to comfort someone with the same comfort that God has comforted you with. Your trial can serve a great purpose if you allow patience to have its perfect work in you. Will it be easy, not gonna lie it can be rough but His grace is sufficient for you, for his strength is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Be still and allow God to be the Almighty, all powerful, all sufficient and loving God that He is.

 

He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23

A friend loves at all times and a [sister] is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:27

Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective with enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation. 2 Corinthians 1:6-7

One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts. Psalm 145:4

As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18