sitting back

Hi Everyone.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the [wo]man who trusts in Him! Psalm 34:8 Lately, I've been doing a lot of meditating, mostly on the goodness of our Lord. He who has promised goodness to us is faithful!

A couple of posts back I was in the dumps, emotionally and physically... it did me good to be there. God has been slowly removing the scales from my eyes to see the world, the church, friends, family and my self differently. April '09 I was laid off of work and a lot of things changed from then on starting with that day, I must share this story with you...

I was working in a Flight School (I am the queen of odd jobs). I really, REALLY, disliked working there but every time I cried out to God for deliverance I never received His peace to walk away. Months went by of me crying out, temper tantrums to the max and just a nasty attitude about my job before the Lord. One day, I surrendered my will to Him. Though I never developed a love for the place I did fall in love with the people. My heart soon shattered to pieces for them like a glass of water falling from a pretty little nightstand to a filthy linoleum floor. It was bittersweet the day that God confirmed, through scripture, that my days in this specific job (mission) were coming to an end. Bitter because I had grown in God-given love for people. But it was sweet, oh so sweet to be out of there.

 That morning I took my resignation letter to work. Throughout the work day I had countless of opportunities to submit my letter and give my two weeks notice but each time the peace of God was not there. An hour before going home for the day I was called into the office along with two other employees. Determined to quit, I took my resignation letter with me disguised in a student file. It was there that I tasted and saw the goodness of the Lord. Before I could even mutter a word about my resignation, we were told, "Due to the economy, we see ourselves obligated to lay off three employees. We are terribly sorry, laying you off. Here is a severance check and you'll be eligible for unemployment." My thoughts that very moment- Thank YOU Lord that you go before me.  Had I quit earlier that day I would not have received that severance check nor would I have been able to collect unemployment.

I learned a very valuable lesson, well two, in all reality I could probably find more lessons:
1. Be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing as good as the peace of God.
2. God is always ahead of us in life, therefore I will trust Him with my life.

It's been a little over a year now that I have been unemployed. Upon finding myself without a job I asked God to make me a student of His Word. Let me tell you, He has not only made me a student of His Word but through His Word he has unveiled my eyes to see how short I am of His glory. His Word has revealed to me dark truths about me and how much of a Pharisee I am. His Word has also spoken life and grace to me like I have never embraced before. He is stripping me of me and I'm starting to like the process.

And so I come to a place today where all I desire is to be wholly surrendered to Him. I am without a job, without a career path, don't own a home, don't even have a potential significant other... I don't care for these things that the world claims satisfaction and completeness from.

I read this on a greeting card and encourage you with it:

I don't have to figure out why or how or when. God has a plan, and I'm committed to it. That commitment frees me from having to worry about the details. -Barbara Johnson 

 All this to say that, God is good! He has taken care of me thus far and I don't doubt His care, His love, His provision, His guidance... I trust Him with every detail of my life. From the day that I was laid off, I have been sitting back (being still from worry, fear or anxiety) knowing that God goes before me and works all things our for my good. He does the work, I do the walking.

 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
“ This is the way, walk in it,” 

Whenever you turn to the right hand
 Or whenever you turn to the left.
Isaiah 30:21