Wednesday, June 30, 2010

sitting back

Hi Everyone.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the [wo]man who trusts in Him! Psalm 34:8 Lately, I've been doing a lot of meditating, mostly on the goodness of our Lord. He who has promised goodness to us is faithful!

A couple of posts back I was in the dumps, emotionally and physically... it did me good to be there. God has been slowly removing the scales from my eyes to see the world, the church, friends, family and my self differently. April '09 I was laid off of work and a lot of things have changed from then on starting with that day.

I was working in a Flight School (Yes, I am the queen of odd jobs). I really, REALLY, disliked working there but every time I cried out to God for deliverance I never received His peace to walk away. I had a nasty attitude, I cried like a brat, and constantly complained to God for months. That was till I saw my job as a mission field and that day I surrendered my will to Him. Though I never developed a love for the place I did fall in love with the people. My heart soon shattered to pieces for them like a glass of water falling from a pretty little nightstand to a filthy linoleum floor. It was bittersweet the day that after much prayer God confirmed in my heart that my days in this specific job (mission) were coming to an end. Bitter because I had grown in a diving God-given love for the people. But it was sweet, oh so sweet to be out of there.

 The next morning I took my resignation letter to work. Throughout the work day I had countless of opportunities to submit my letter and give my two weeks notice, but each time I did not have the peace of God to do so. And at just an hour before my work day was over I was called into the office along with two other employees. Determined to quit, I took my resignation letter with me disguised in a student file. It was there that I tasted and saw the goodness of the Lord. Before I could even mutter a word about my resignation, we were told, "Due to the economic fall, we see ourselves obligated to close one of our offices and thus laying off three employees. We are terribly sorry, but we have to let you go. We have prepared for you a severance package, along with a letter of recommendation, and you'll be eligible to collect unemployment." My thought that very moment- "Thank YOU Lord that you go before me."  Had I quit earlier that day I would not have received that severance package, nor would I have been eligible to collect unemployment.

I learned two very valuable lessons:
1. Be attentive and obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
2. God goes before me, therefore I will trust Him with my life.

Upon finding myself without a job I asked God to make me a student of His Word. He not only has helped me be a diligent student, but through His Word has unveiled my eyes to see how short I fall of His glory. His Word has revealed to me dark truths about myself. His Word has also spoken life and grace to me like I have never embraced before. He is stripping me of me and I'm starting to like the process.

And so I come to a place today where all I desire is to be wholly surrendered to Him. I am without a job, without a career path, don't own a home, don't even have a potential significant other...Yet these do not satisfy wholly, nor do they complete me, because in lacking these I find myself wholly satisfied and complete in Christ.

I read this on a greeting card and encourage you with it:
I don't have to figure out why or how or when. God has a plan, and I'm committed to it. That commitment frees me from having to worry about the details. -Barbara Johnson 
God is magnificently good! He has taken care of me thus far, and I don't doubt His care, His love, His provision, or His guidance. I am choosing to trust Him with every detail of my life. From the day that I was laid off, I have been sitting back (being still from worry, fear or anxiety) knowing that God goes before me and works all things our for my good. He does the work, and I do the walking.

 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
“ This is the way, walk in it,” 
Whenever you turn to the right hand
 Or whenever you turn to the left.
Isaiah 30:21


Antoinette said...

I love your blog Raquel and I love reading about your walk alongside the good, gracious, faithful God that I know and love. What you wrote here is truth and life.

Melissa Runcie | Madabella said...

I love that you are in a place of resting in His will for you. Even with the emotional rollercoaster of doubt that sometimes gets in the way, you are tasting first hand God's guidance and will over your life. What a testimony he is forming in you!!!

I love you, sister!

Bleah Briann//Lovely said...

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With Love and Blessings,
Bleah Briann

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