Friday, April 30, 2010

Lyrical Friday & getting owned!

Hi Everyone!
Before we get into Lyrical Friday, I wanted to blog a little about what the Lord has been showing me. He busted me earlier this week and the only way that I can describe it (thanks to my friend Chris) is that I was totally, wholly and completely OWNED by the Lord. And let me just tell you, being owned by the Lord is a pretty sweet feeling, lol.
For those of you just joining the blog (girls from Westood Wood Christian a big welcome) here is a little history to get you up to date, and by no means do I share this lightly. The SHORT and sweet version: I battle a struggle with Anorexia, mostly fighting thoughts to not relapse. Praise be to God who leads me in triumph continually and guards my steps, only by His strength am I kept whole. I am also a self proclaimed shopaholic. I know this sounds absurd to include this in the same category of struggles, but I love to shop. I'm not too sure if it is Satan himself who sets up the sales traps or if they are amazing God sent sale opportunities... or maybe it's just me!

Everyone faces trials, times of difficulty and seasons of mourning; we all cope differently. When things spiral out of control in my life, as they have the last two weeks, the dark cloud of Anorexia comes over me and does not depart. My thoughts are quickly consumed with this self destructive, self inflicted sin. Being aware of this "cloud" and not desiring to fall in to temptation I run to my comfort zone, to my place of hiding place, no, not God but to shopping. I have noticed that I have not be a wise stewardess of GOD'S money... that's right, I just said that, God's money. I have even thanked Him for the new items of clothing I purchased and for the wonderful gifts I bought. Each item purchased felt like a great accomplishment. Allow me to explain, shopping is more than an even exchange, for me it is therapeutic in a sense. My mind is distracted from the thoughts, the pain, the trial. It feels right to shop but it is only pleasurable for a moment. Shopping is a cheap cover up but not a permanent solution. Soon after the guilt sinks in and an overwhelming feeling of failure.

This past Wednesday as I was working on my HEAL lesson I came across this, "Go to God with your needs- not guys, food, retail therapy, or anything else to fill your emotionally and spiritually." Busted! I continued and came across this one verse, and I was confronted even more with my two areas of weakness: Luke 12:23, "Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing." AHH! Say What?! I had to do a double take. A verse, just for me. God is faithful, He quickly gave me words of comfort, life and hope: Luke 12:32, "Do not fear, Raquel, for it is My good pleasure to give you the kingdom." I felt so dumb... it is so easy to not trust God and become spritually crippled. Going first to God would have been the best solution, however, I took matter into my weak hands.

It is by daily drawing near to Jesus and embracing him as the One who can put us in right standing with God the Father that we are set upon the path of authentic healing. -Allie Marie Smith

All this to say that I am utterly humbled and surrendered to Jesus- again! Thanks be to God who gives joy, hope and life abundantly after failure. That same day He gave me a scripture, a crutch to lean on, a promise to hold on to: Isaiah 40:29, "He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength." May we never shy away from experiencing the warm embrace from the God of all comforts. Let us run to Him first and always. 

Anywho, today's song is a deep cry of my heart. My prayer is that both you and I would be a people who are fully surrendered to Jesus our Lord. My prayer is that through our lives, other's would see God in His glorious splendor. Let hope arise and darkness tremble in His holy light! 

(please pause the media player on the sidebar)
With EverythingJoel Houston

Open our eyes
To see the things that make Your heart cry
To be the church that You would desire
Your light to be seen

Break down our pride
And all the walls we've built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your feet

Let hope rise And darkness tremble
In Your holy light That every eye will see
Jesus our God Great and mighty to be praised

God of all days
Glorious in all of Your ways
Oh the majesty the wonder and grace
In the light of Your Name

With everything With everything
We will shout for Your glory
With everything With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

Our hearts they cry
Be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our King
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise


Little Mrs. Shirey said...

just wanted to say thanks for your sweet comment on my blog!
It's so nice to get encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Raquel, this is so encouraging! I have gone through this and as you said, at first you feel high then you go to this deep level of despair because you thought this would make you happy and it doesn't, so you keep buying. And yes, I thank Him for sending me on the right path, though at times I see myself falling back.


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