Tuesday, December 8, 2009

the bird sings...

Oh, remember that my life is a breath! My eye will never again see good. The eye of him who sees me will see me no more; while your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be. As the cloud disappears and vanishes away, so he who goes down to the grave does not come up. He shall never return to his house, nor shall his place know him anymore. “ Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 7:7-11
 
 
Hi my Friends.
As I shared with you on Day 4 of my Testimony, the death of my Grandfather left me feeling like a caged bird. Once I posted The Heartbroken Lily, and I read it, I couldn’t help but cry. Not just because of the painful memories, but also for the reason that I now stood on the outside looking in at the repulsiveness of my guilt. About two years ago I had shared with one of my Aunts about this guilt. And even though she did comfort me, I still felt like Job in chapter 7*. The Lord has begun to heal wounds that I myself wasn’t aware of.

Friday night, a faithful friend, led by God, approached me and confronted me. Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that faithful are the wounds of a friend. A few verses down we read that the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel (verse 9). She helped me realize that I was limiting God’s sovereign power. I chose to believe that Abuelito's death was my fault and never did I chose to belive that it was God's timing. She helped me see that freedom, complete freedom is only found trusting God's timing and guilt has no place in absolute freedom. She ever so caring and heroically tapped into an area of my life that I had restricted to everyone, including God.

I think, no, I know that God is bandaging my wounds and mending the shattered pieces of my heart. Through my faithful friend, fearless warrior and loving ally, God removed the scab and exposed my wound. He is now healing it with forgiveness, mercy, grace and freedom. At the present, I feel like a bird, no longer caged, that can sing, believing that I will be set free. It is a process, one where I am learning to surrender my guilt and accept the perfect will of God.

“Comfort, yes, comfort My people!”
Says your God.
“ Speak comfort to Jerusalem, and cry out to her,
That her warfare is ended,
That her iniquity is pardoned;
For she has received from the LORD’s hand
Double for all her sins.”
Isaiah 40:1-2
 
*Click here to read Job 7

1 comment:

Red Lipstick Style said...

What a beautiful testimony. I found your blog via Hello Old Friend. You looked like a friend that I used to look like in the followers section, so I clicked on your picture!

Quite timely, I might add, because you and I have quite a bit in common. Your storey inspires me and I look forward to reading your blog.

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