God's family - my family - your family

 Last night I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in over a year. She moved out of town and was back. In catching up I shared with her my Mother's journey in the past year with Glaucoma, loosing her sight, numerous procedures, and her sight being restored. As the words poured forth from my mouth, my heart remained steadfast and at peace. For my mind understood that God had done a great and mighty work in my Mom. My mind recognized that the prayer of God's people availed much. My faith was firm, therefore by God's doing I was able to stand firm. 

I continued sharing the grueling testimony and her eyes watered, she looked away, folded her hands, and even cringed in her seat. I then shared the last sentence, "So that's where we are at. Tomorrow (which is today) she has an appointment with Dr. Bennett who is a cornea  specialists and a glaucoma specialist. This appointment will determine the possibility of a future surgery, a delicate surgery." Her words that followed, "Raquel, this may seem strange... My grandfather who was a Pastor for many years lives just around the corner. I feel that we need to have him and my grandmother pray for your mom. Is this weird?"

Not. At. All. 

One thing I tell everyone is to never reject prayer. Never! 

Brethren, pray for us. I Thessalonians 5:25

Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. II Thessalonians 1:11-12

And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:15-16

Without further ado, she made a call, told her grandparents that she was with a friend who needed prayer for her mom. They did not hesitate to have me over. These wonderful people are in the picture above. 

Jose Raul and Eda Maria Borroto welcomed me in and greeted me like their own family. I have them a quick summary of my Mother's condition and Eda Maria began to pray. She prayed for our hearts to be cleansed from our iniquity, that we may enter his throne room of grace empty of ourselves, and prayed for us to be filled by His Spirit. She praised God for giving us His Spirit who teaches us all things and gives us the right words to pray. From there we spent a sweet time in prayer and praise.

 I was given the opportunity to pray for Jose Raul, a 90 year old man who not to long again fell and fractured his elbow and hips. The doctors have been astonished with his recovery and ability to walk again. May I remind you he is 90 years young! He continued speak the Word to me and gave me specific scriptures to share with Mami. He reminded me that God is all powerful and above all He is love. 

I experienced last night the joy of being a member of God's family. In Christ, Jose Raul and Eda Maria are my family, and because you and I are family they are your family too! What wonderful and glorious news. And so I ask you to join me in prayer for these two faithful saints who are our relatives. They both suffer from numerous health complications and are in need of prayer. Continue praying for Mami's eyes, for her faith to be strengthened and her spirit renewed. 

May the Holy Spirit fill you as Eda prayed and teach you all things pertaining spiritual growth and give you words to pray. "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 "For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” Luke 12:12

Happy Friday friends! 

birthday surprise! It's Sammantha.

Hi Dear Friends. 

Today's post comes from a very special woman. When I first met Samm (with two m's), her family was fairly new to our church. Her Parents were a bit hesitant when they arrived to youth group with their two young girls. It was a breeze of fresh air to meet a family who feared the Lord as the Word commands us to. As time flew by, I had the amazing opportunity of getting to know Sammantha and Corinne as dear friends and prayer sisters. I know that you will be blessed by her story and the message God has spoken through her. 

Aloha from Hawai'i!

Some of you may know me; I know a lot of you may not. My name is Samm, and I love Jesus.

Not much of an intro right? Well, if you think about it, that's a lot of information. From that statement, you and I could build an eternal bond. I'll tell you more about myself so you get where I'm coming from.

I just turned 20, I'm a semester away from getting my associates, and I live on the island of Oahu in Hawai'i. My dad is in the coast guard, so I'm a military brat. And yes, I'm still living in my parents’ house. One more thing, as a military family, we have only had to move once. From Homestead Florida, to Honolulu Hawai'i last year (and my dads been in the military for 20).

            

If you know anything about the military, you know that no move in 19 years is odd. God had a reason for that. You see, I was born and raised in a Christian family, but I didn't truly start walking with Jesus until about 3 years ago, when He moved us from a dead church to CCK. There I grew by leaps and bounds.

            Raquel took me under her wings and showed me what a godly woman looks like, as did Belkis, Michi, Dasha, Maky and dozens of others. These were a type of woman I had never seen before. They taught me how to read my bible, how to pray, how to encourage, how to love my sisters and myself.

            God also introduced me to Pastor Jose and Pastor Pedro. He put in my path Alex, Monica, Christina, Steven, Chris, Chris, Carrot Top, Jasmine, Pinito, Tiffany, Becca, Joey and a hundred others. They lifted me up, taught me what godly friends are supposed to be. They are my family. And whether they hear from me often or not, I'm always praying for them.

            If you ask them or the ladies who I consider my mentors, they'll simply point to Jesus. And they'll be 100% right; it was all Him. Feeding me, clothing me. Arming me. He taught me how to use my sword and to put on my helmet (Eph6:17).

            I don't know if you've ever moved before, but if you have and it’s been far enough away, you know what it's like to start over. That alien feeling could last anywhere from a week to a month or three. I'm not trying to belittle anyone's experiences; I understand that my life compared to others' has been cake. I just want to share what God has asked me to.

            So, my first move, and it's to another state, wait, past several time zones and half of an ocean, in a different hemisphere. And that's exactly how it felt.

            When I said my goodbyes and got on that plane, I couldn't help myself. I was angry at God. I thought "You took me from that dead place, to a home that’s alive. I felt you there, every time I walked in through the doors. You were in the congregation, in the greeters and volunteers; you were in the worship, the leaders and the pastors. You were there and I felt you. You showed me what I could be; like those godly women. You showed me how much I could love those people that aren't even physically related to me. What are You doing?! You're tearing me from them! I don't want to leave! Who cares if I'm going to 'paradise,' I want to stay where I feel You, where I feel loved."

            Can you imagine my audacity? How could I, a mere human, berate the Most High God? I was angry. I was hurt. Mostly, I felt so alone.

            I walked onto this island with the mentality of "This will never be my home." I thought, "The believers back in Florida aren't here, how am I going to survive?" At first, I was so happy that I could text and facebook people I missed. But eventually I learned to loath technology. It could tell me what was going on back home, but I couldn't be apart of it. My body was on Oahu, but my mind, spirit and strength was back in Miami.

            5 months. That's how long it took to look forward. It only took 3 to find the church He wanted us to be at, but my eyes were closed. Funny thing is that Pastor Jose specifically told us not to keep our eyes on the past. He quoted the scripture that says someone who takes to the plow but looks back is not worthy of the kingdom of God. I remember thinking about that, but I ignored what God was trying to tell me. I guess my ears were closed too. Then God had mercy on me, and He opened my eyes. I don't know when, it happened slowly, but I began to see what God had given me.

            The New Year rang in with a new resolution. My mom put her foot down. She said we were going to attend church regularly, and more than that, we were going to get involved. God really softened my heart after that. He showed me that I could love my family back in CCK, but I had more family here, just waiting to love me too.

            If I had the time and the space, I would tell you about Pastor Waxer and Pastor Mike. I would talk about Jesse and Aimee, Troy, Luc, Pattie, Rachel, Carolyn, Joshua, Nolan, Paka, Christina, Mario, Tori, Sirayha, Ryan, Vince, Jeff, Tanner and many, many more. These are your brothers and sisters, and they love Jesus. Being a Christian means that even though you only have your love for Jesus in common, that's all you need.

            Joshua 1:9 is my life verse, and has been long before my move. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I am a living witness to this promise. He's everywhere you are, whether you feel Him or not. I moved 4,853.29 miles away, and God is still with me.

Just like you only knew about Jesus before experiencing Him, I knew in my head that 1, I have many brothers and sisters around the world and 2, that Jesus is everywhere. I didn't know these facts in my heart before moving, and I am so glad that God proved these facts true to me.

I hope you realize that though God taught me to use my sword and my helmet in a time of peace and growth, it took a storm so He could teach me how to use my shield. I picked up my faith at CCK, where I was comfortable and safe. But I had learned to exercise and use my faith when my world came crashing down.

If you don't get anything from my running on, please remember that God loves you and wants the best for you, which includes teaching you to use your shield in battle, which He has already won by the way.

My name is Samm, and I love Jesus.

operator, please connect me

This past Sunday, as I drove to church I had a strange thought in my mind: Have so-and-so pray for you. I was a bit confused. "Why would I have so-and-so pray for me?" I thought to myself. As a matter of fact, why would I need prayer from anyone? I wasn't in any harm or experiencing a pressing trial. When again the same thought came to my mind again.  OK Lord, you're on to something. 

At a red light, I sent a text to my friend (the Lord was very specific in bringing this person's name to pray for me): "Can you pray for me. I don't know for what but I feel like I need prayer." As soon as I hit send, so many different scenarios played in my mind. What if I am involved in a tragic car accident? What if I am about to suffer serious injuries in a freak car accident? Or is it that something will happen at church? Maybe some crazy person will confront me? Or may I need to guard my heart from a wolf in sheep's clothing? I literally had to stop myself.

The car accident paranoia leaves as I arrive safely to church. I walk in to the sanctuary and no crazies attacked me. I soon forget my worries and also the fact that the Lord had prompted me to ask for prayer.

Little did I know that as soon as worship was over and the teaching about to begin, an usher walks up to me and asks me to serve. He tells me, "You know I wouldn't ask you unless you were my last resort." And so, I get up and go serve to a ministry that I am not a part of and not ready for. What could go wrong went wrong and I was feeling like a failure. I even froze when I began. Out of nowhere, I began to speak boldly and with confidence, both of which were not there a second ago.

As soon as the service was over, the Lord reminded me of my request for prayer. OH! That's why the Lord prompted me to ask for prayer. He knew that I would need it. He reminded me of an important lesson: ASK for prayer. We have to be obedient and ask for prayer... it's like picking up the phone and asking the operator for help. Thank God for friends who are like operators, connecting us to the One who can help.

Do you have a friend like that? 
I encourage you to ask a friend or myself to pray for you, whether it be a direct prayer request or maybe one as vague as mine. Call, text, email or Facebook that friend and say, "Operator, please connect me!"

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For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:19

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Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior. 1 Timothy 2:1,3

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Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope He has given to those He called—His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance. Ephesians 1:15-18

sentence tuesday

It is true that God provides people in our lives 

to help us through tough times, 

but He cannot be substituted. -Maky Fernandez 

 

birthday blog & birthday lessons

Yesterday was my birthday. I must say, Tuesday is a odd day for a birthday.


Once again the Lord has demonstrated His faithful love for me through those around me. My morning started with homemade breakfast and a special prayer from my Parentals. The Brotheroonie named our internet after me, lol. The Sisteroonie picked me up from work and took me shopping (always amazing). A couple of friends surprised me and showed up at my house with balloons, gifts and food. My dear Mother cooked one of my favorite dishes. And the most special of all, my two younger cousins surprised me with homemade Nutella brownie cupcakes (yum) and gifts (see the picture).

These two little ones (that I consider more than cousins, they are to me my children) reminded me of the the Widow in Luke 21:1-4. They looked for a recipe to bake for me, went to the store and thoughtfully picked out a gift to bless me with and together chose a card that described me to the T. Not that any of the other gifts are meaningless or insignificant, but my Cindy and Gaby don't have a job, they don't have wealth or riches, nor did they give to me just because. They gave to me from the little that they have, they gave me their all. It pleased me so much. It taught me a lesson, It pleases God to give to Him the little that we are, to give him our all. God isn't fooled by boastful giving, or elaborate donations. God doesn't care for our lip work. God cares more about our heart and the conforming of it.

Another lesson He taught me yesterday had to do with their gift: a candle.
I am a bit obsessive when it comes to candles and scents. I never told anyone but there is a candle that I've been wanting to get. Its a bit costly so I haven't bought another one. Just last Saturday, I almost bought because it wasn't in my budget to buy it. So I prayed... "God, please help me buy this candle next weekend. Or better yet, put it in some one's heart to get me a --store name-- gift card. Amen." By now you know I pray silly little prayers. Three days later, it's my birthday and I open up Cindy and Gaby's gift and you won't believe it, they bought me the candle I wanted. God whispered to me: "What matters to you matters to Me, even if its a silly little candle. I not only care about the "BIG" stuff, I also care about the "little" things too." Maybe that's a word for you today.

Last year I shared with you some of the texts and Facebook comments my friends left me. This year I will do the same. These are some of the wonderful messages I got throughout the day. Beautiful reminders from the Lord, through His people. All glory to God, because apart from Him I am nothing.

MT- Happy B-Day Raquelita! May the Lord keep blessing you daily with all kinds of blessings from above. You are a dear friend and sister and I love you lots! Have fun in your birthday & Celebrate your life!! :)

SN- Happy Birthday Beautiful!! You have been such a huge blessing in my life! I praise God for your life and rejoice with you on your big day! Enjoy it, Embrace it! Its just one more year of growth and blessings. love ya! (:

CN- Raquelita! Happy birthday to you! You are such a wonderful example to our young ladies. I am thankful for you! God bless you and have an awesome day!
 
LA- Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." proverbs 31:30-31
This is how I wanted to begin telling you that above loving you just for being my cousin, I love and honor you just for being YOU!  May your day be filled with love, joy and riches :) you deserve them all! Happy birthday my Kelibubu!! I love you forever!!! Have a blasssst on your day ♥ ;)

MF- Happy, Happy, Happy birthday to a special and wonderful friend!! I thank God for your life and pray that He will grant you many more blessed years. Hope you have an awesome day. I love you.

JL- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! I thank God for your LIFE!!! YOU are a SPECIAL and WONDERFUL blessing in my life!!! May the Lord bless you abundantly with every desire in your heart and may this year bring you closer to Him!!! love u!!! ♥

BS- Happy Birthday sweet Raquel! You are so special and I just know you make God smile a whole lot. Blessings

MF- Happy Birthday Raquelita! Have a good one. May you be blessed with lots of money to shop with!!! :P xoxoxo ♥ ILY! (I had to put this one!!!)

OS- Happy Birthday beautiful may the Lord Bless you today and everyday. What a joy you are.

JF- raqi!!! happy birthday!! I pray that you have the most amazing and loving day!!! Im so happy you were born, =) you truly are a great friend and a blessing to have in my life!!! love you Raq!!! I pray that the Lord blesses you with your hearts desires !!!

VG- Happy Birthday beautiful women of God. So thankful God made an amazing person like you. Have a fantabulous day. Xoxo

IA- Happy BD!! You fill any room with joy and happiness. May God continue to bless you and fill you with His Holy Spirit for HIS GLORY!!

DC- Happy birthday my beautiful sister! May our Lord bless you abundantly today and forever more.

ZB- Hi raquel....I don't know you for too long..but long enough to know that you are such a beautiful and Godly woman!!...may God give you many blessings in your life and keep smiling...that smile can move mountains...:-)..Happy B-day!!!!

MG- Happy Birthday Raquel! May God continue to bless you and shine his light and glory all around you all the days of your life! Thank you for being such an awesome Youth Leader!

DH- Happy birthday Raquelita!!! :) I love you & pray for the Lord to continue to bless you and use you!! Xo

JH- Happy birthday emi! Hope you have such an incredible day. May God continue to bless you and use you to bless others :) You're an amazing person and I love you! ♥

CS- Happy birthday my wonderful special friend! You are such a blessing to so many.. May God shower you abundantly with His blessings :)

CV- Happy Birthday Mama Hen. only God knows how much I miss your words of wisdom and comfort. Rachel you are such a beautiful person, your is one that is rare and on fire for our King. Your passion and desire for the word challenges, inspires me daily. Happy Birthday Rachel. I love you and I miss you like a crazy person. (But I know my God sees my heart and that either in this world's paradise ot the real deal I will see you again, I cannot wait. -Corina (you know this made me cry, cry, cry)

Delight yourself also in the LORD,

And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

looking into the mirror

This past Friday was Jen's birthday. ((A little history for those new to the blog: back in January Jen, one of my best friends, moved to Atlanta, GA.)) She flew down to Miami for the weekend to celebrate. The gang gathered at a very cute restaurant called Berries. It was heavenly to have everyone together. My best friends sitting at one table, I couldn't ask for more. I miss my friends. I miss having the intimate connection of a friend that is closer than a brother. I miss the accountability. I miss the group prayers. I miss the adventures. I miss laughing at a joke that no one else could possibly understand. And a part of me yearns for the days when we all were without care.

This year has been rough for me.

Thus far, God has been doing a new work in me... I can't pin point one specific area but I feel Him stretching me. Growing pains... a lot of : Adjustments. Seeking. Discovering. Letting go. Accepting. Pondering. Brokenness. Wholeness. Restoration. Healing.

A whole lot of a whole lot.

I don't know what other word(s) would describe how I feel other than alone and lost.

I am learning that the life of ministry is a lonely one.

I am learning that it's OK to be lost, because I will hear a voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it."

I miss who I was but I am learning so much of who I am not and who God wants me to be.

I am learning to not be dependant on others, for God desires and requires holiness.

I am learning, in the most painful of ways, that life is not fair- but God works ALL things out for the good of those called according to His ways.

I am learning to wait upon the Lord and to be of good courage.

I am learning that I know nothing of God's love, grace and mercy.

I am learning, growing and becoming.

Between you and I, though I miss the yesterdays with my best friends and I miss who I was, what I have with God today, though alone, is wonderful. My mind and heart know that to be a lily among thorns, I have to lay down my life. That is, letting go of all that I miss, all that I yearn for, and (the hardest one of all) saying adios to all that is me. Looking into the mirror I hope to one day see not my own reflection, but the reflection of Christ.

This past Sunday at church my dear Pastor reminded me, that the Christian life is a radical life and a life of inconvenience. With that said I close with a word of hope, a word that is convicting me this very moment:

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. +Philippians 3:12-15

painting.... eggs!

Hi my lovely Readers.

Last night I was blessed to have been invited to my first egg painting party. I'll be honest with you, I thought it was kinda dorky. Being Hispanic, egg painting is not something we do period, especially for fun. That would be deserving of a chancleta* slap followed by a, "Se ve que no tienen nada mejor que hacer." Translation: Obviously, you have nothing better to do. But because it was my awesome church family that was going to get together, I put my preconceived notions aside and went. I had a blast! I never knew that egg painting could be so much fun. Yes, I just said that. It was a great time of fellowship and sweet laughter as I painted eggs with my church folks.

So Raquel, why blog about this? Not gonna lie, I wanted to share my Ninja egg with you (the one on the right). But God, He gave me a wonderful picture of Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10, Isaiah 62:3 and Isaiah 61:10 last night.

~ Even there Your hand shall lead me,

and Your right hand shall hold me.

~For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus...

~You shall also be a crown of glory in the hand of the LORD...

 ~...For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, he has covered me with the robe of righteousness...

Just as I held each egg in my hand: I took my time in creating each detail, I specifically chose which color each egg would be, not one egg was the same, and when done painting eggs I looked at each one with a smile on my face (even the funny looking ones). I even showed off my eggs. It didn't hit me till later that we like those eggs are also being held in the hands of God, He fashions and forms us, He clothes us, He takes His time with us, we are not like anyone else, we are wonderfully made, a one of a kind piece of God.

I am guilty, in the past, of complaining and questioning God as to why I have go through certain trials.  My Ninja egg was left in the blue color tub for a long time in order to get that color, yet had it not been for my egg spending a good 20+ minutes (that is a long time in egg time) in the tub it would not have that beautiful blue color that everyone praised... I am reminded of Romans 8:28 and 2 Corinthians 3:18: God works all things for out for our good and transforms us from glory to glory into His perfect image. God desires to show off the work of His hands to the world, in other words, He wants to do a new work in you and display you for all to see what He can do with a life fully surrendered to His hands. Even the trials, the valleys and the ugly truth of our past can be used.

Never, in a million years would I have thought that painting eggs was both fun and insightful! I only wish I would have taken a picture of all the eggs once they were finished. All diverse in their design but each was a reflection of their creator, wonderfully made. We are all diverse in our make up, personalitlies and talents yet we each, when living life for Jesus, reflect our Creator. You are wonderfully made!

college & career group

Flee also youthful lusts;

but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace

with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

As I have shared with you all a few days ago, the Lord has been answering prayers, doing new things and He has me in the middle of it all. I will share a little bit of that today. A month ago I met at a local Starbucks with friends, acquaintances and strangers. We all shared our testimonies and then headed to my home for a lovely time of worship. That night a lot of things began to make sense and fall into place. It was as if God was finally removing the blindfold and I was able to see why He had me waiting on blind faith.

For quite some time I (along with many others) had been praying for a College & Career group (C&C) to start at my home church. Mainly my prayer was for God to rise up godly men with the calling and anointing for this ministry need. It took sometime, but God answered. That night at Starbucks I was filled with joy to see the fervent love and zeal that these men have for my Jesus. That night my prayer changed to praise with thanksgiving.

I had been praying waiting (for what seemed like eternity) on God’s call to rise and spring forth. He promised a road in the wilderness and a river in the desert. Up until the Starbucks night I thought the Lord was going to send me out to do long term mission’s work but I didn’t have peace and felt the Lord telling me not now. That night I prayed for God to confirm to me if C&C is where He wanted me until He called me out to a new adventure. Immediately He spoke and confirmed.

So let’s fast forward now a month later… The guys that God has called to this ministry are the real deal- prayer warriors; saturated in the Holy Spirit and gleaning in God’s word daily… they love God and love people. As I taste and see the Lord’s goodness I am truly humbled by His faithfulness. 2 Timothy 2:22 has taken a new meaning. I am a witness to a group of young men and young women who hunger and thirst for more of God’s Word. Week after week more people come, to the point that we have outgrown my home.

My heart is overwhelmed and excited with all that the Lord is doing through four people who are head over heels in love with God. I am stoked for what He has yet to do. We have amazing Pastors that are so helpful, loving, patient and encouraging. I have to be honest with you, when I take a step back and look at the people He has chosen for this task I can’t help but laugh, mostly at myself! He definitely chooses the foolish things of this world, lol- that’s how we know that this is not by our strength, by wit or charm but ONLY by His precious, glorious, holy and majestic Spirit.

Keep us in prayer and as the days, weeks, months roll by I will keep you posted.

These aren't current pictures.

my friends that call on the Lord out of pure hearts :-)

A Lily torn by thorns- part two

Being confident of this very thing,

that He who has begun a good work in you

will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

My dearest and beloved Readers, thank you for allowing my story to enter your hearts. He is mighty to save and as you will read today, mighty to heal. Picking it up where we left off...

I could easily tell you that from that day on I became the godliest woman alive, who saturated her life day and night with the Word of God and that I had been cured for good, but that would be a lie. As for the Anorexia, I hid that ugly truth for anyone and everyone. I began to eat slowly with small portions and eventually was eating full meals again. I soon began to notice the sudden weight gain due to the lack of food in my body but I was going to be ruthless with this sin and not go back to that horrible lifestyle.

There was a sudden joy in my eyes that others began to notice and draw near to. For the first time in my whole life I worshipped God in song. I discovered the freedom found in worship. During church I couldn't wait to lift my hands up and adore the One who gave me life abundantly. For the slower songs, the worship leader would ask people to be seated but I couldn't, so to my knees I would fall in surrender. I quickly made myself a cd of worship music and everyday for an hour I would lock myself in my room and have a date with God. I would read everyday consistently. In one night, right after my surrender I read the book of Ruth four times, Esther once and Song of Songs one time (that's when I called it a night, lol). I was in love. All I wanted was to spend each and every moment with Jesus.

With time though, the honeymoon was over... more like I drifted away. In the time span of almost three years I allowed myself to leave my first love. I had planned many nights to run away from home. I felt like a prisoner because of my Parent’s strict rules and so I sought refuge in my old ways, rebellion, and bad company. I was apathetic and not reading my Bible as much. I was cursing again and found myself surrounded with a different crowd. Though I wasn’t dealing drugs anymore, my friends were now the ones consuming. I didn’t abandon God entirely, how could I after all, He had come through for me as a knight in shinning armor? So, I did the Christian thing and shared with my friends the good message of Jesus Christ. Upon their rejection of the Gospel I was so upset, looking back though I realize that I would have never “won” them over when I was acting just like them, nothing about me appeared to be different from them. Instead of being the good influence, I had been the one influenced by my friends, and not for the good. But since I had no relationship with my Parents, barely an existing one with my siblings, my friends was all I had. They had become my new obsession.

During this time, God continued to pursue me. He not once gave up on me. His pursuit was subtle. He was a perfect gentleman. He knew me so well that He sent Margaret my way, knowing that I would listen to someone who had trotted a similar road to mine. With her great motherly instincts, Margaret was able to read right through me. And for once, I came across someone whom I couldn’t lie to. Without her knowing, the Lord used her to spark one of the greatest arguments between God and I. Yes, you read right. I still argue with God… though I go into the fight knowing that I am not going to win. Margaret was leading a group I was in and that night we studied John 15:1-8*. At the end of the study, she gave us a challenge based on John 15:2. We were asked us to pray and seek of the Lord the branch or branches in our lives that were not bearing fruit, and the challenge was cut it off with God’s help.

All puffed up with pride I prayed in this manner, “Lord, I recently asked Papi to forgive me for my bad attitude, my rebelliousness and for all the pain I have caused him. That was my only bad branch. Seriously God, I have no branch that needs to be pruned or cut.” HA! I can only laugh at my foolishness. I don’t think a minute had gone by when I felt the prompting of the Lord, “Give me your friends.” My first thought, “You’re crazy.” I was serious, and war had just broken out. I pretty much told God that night that I didn’t want to hear it. He had given me those friends and there was no way that I was about to give up the only people that were there for me. The audacity I had is ridiculous. Later that night I put an offer on the table for God, “Well, I guess I’m not such a saint. What else besides my friends would you like from me?” But God wasn’t about to compromise his will to please me. I needed to please Him without compromise. And that’s when I told him that even though I appreciated all that He had done for me I could not continue with Him if what He required of me was my friends.

My struggle to please God and please myself was terribly unsuccessful. I was miserable fighting with God. I acknowledged how wrong I was but my pride would not give in to God. Not only that but I also feared life without my friends, I would once again be left alone, unnoticed and without accountability. I feared that without my friends, I would return to a life of Anorexia. The cost of giving up my friends was too high and I could not afford it. But God- I love those God moments- even in my battle against His will and desire, He continued to allure me.

There was a Christian concert that my family was attending. We had some pretty nice seats and excited we were. That was until we realized that they had sold us more seats than were in the row. Two of us would have to sit elsewhere. My sister and I got the boot and we had to sit pretty far up. God was on the move and I didn’t even know it. During one of the songs the lady next to me turned to me and said that God has a message for me. She said, “God wants to use you but you first have to give to Him what He is asking of you.” She helped unveil my eyes as God spoke through her. I knew then that it was the true living God calling out to me. She prayed with me. That night I surrendered my friendships to God.

I didn’t want to break up with my friends in a way that would spoil a future relationship between them and God, so I prayed that He would be the one to dissolve the relationships. And He faithfully did. One by one, everyone went on their merry way. I did have to put a stop to one destructive friendship once and for all. Was it hard? I was torn but it wasn’t as painful as I thought. The once so popular Raquel was found alone again. And though I did have peace about my decision I still cried for a week I cried, desperate for God to fill this gap. God bandaged my wounds, but I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow.

This was one of the many branches that God either pruned or cut off. But this specific branch was the engine starter for the ultimate ride with my Jesus.

* Click here to read John 15:1-8