birthday surprise! It's Yesenia.

Happy Tuesday! 

I am so excited to introduce to you Yesenia. It's wonderful how you can know someone for a few months yet feel as if you have known them a lifetime... that is my relationship with her, kindred spirits. The Lord has built a beautiful friendship/sisterhood between us. I pray that you may be blessed abundantly with her post today. 

First  class forever

Whenever waiting in line we know how impatient we can become and start staring around in search for something that might entertain us. Never once did I think I would find myself being amused by a stamp while waiting at the post office. There wasn’t any special or cool design to this stamp that would make it stand out, in all actuality it was quite plain and dull.  But what caught my eye is that on the side of this stamp the word first class forever was written. My first thought when reading that was, “ I've never even flown first class.” 

As I continued to ponder on this little stamp, the sudden realization hit me that I've been missing the opportunity to fly first class, but not on a plane. You see, when you get on a plane the sole purpose is to get to a destination. Sometimes, the ride will consist of some turbulence along the way, leaving you a bit shaken and even afraid to ride a plane again. Though some of us have landing places we would like to travel to, the truth is, we all have a final destination. Reading that stamp made me realize that I have been given the opportunities to ride “first class” and I have missed out because I sold myself short and settled. In my relationship with God I have been guilty of settling for “economy seats,” if it meant that I’d still get to the grand destination called Heaven. 

Our God wants was it best for us; He doesn't want us to just get by. Life in itself isn't easy, because even those who ride “first class” will feel the turbulence. I rather get to my destination riding “first class “and living out Gods purpose then ever settling for “economy” in order to avoid discomfort. God will call us to do radical things that we can’t understand and He will take us out of our comfort zone, because His plans are bigger than ours. So next time God calls you to do something, step out on faith and let Him take control of the plane, and remember that God has given you “first class” and it may come with turbulence, but don't fear because you have the best captain ever.

 (Even the guy who landed the plane on the Hudson River ain"t got nothing on my God  )

looking into the mirror

This past Friday was Jen's birthday. ((A little history for those new to the blog: back in January Jen, one of my best friends, moved to Atlanta, GA.)) She flew down to Miami for the weekend to celebrate. The gang gathered at a very cute restaurant called Berries. It was heavenly to have everyone together. My best friends sitting at one table, I couldn't ask for more. I miss my friends. I miss having the intimate connection of a friend that is closer than a brother. I miss the accountability. I miss the group prayers. I miss the adventures. I miss laughing at a joke that no one else could possibly understand. And a part of me yearns for the days when we all were without care.

This year has been rough for me.

Thus far, God has been doing a new work in me... I can't pin point one specific area but I feel Him stretching me. Growing pains... a lot of : Adjustments. Seeking. Discovering. Letting go. Accepting. Pondering. Brokenness. Wholeness. Restoration. Healing.

A whole lot of a whole lot.

I don't know what other word(s) would describe how I feel other than alone and lost.

I am learning that the life of ministry is a lonely one.

I am learning that it's OK to be lost, because I will hear a voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it."

I miss who I was but I am learning so much of who I am not and who God wants me to be.

I am learning to not be dependant on others, for God desires and requires holiness.

I am learning, in the most painful of ways, that life is not fair- but God works ALL things out for the good of those called according to His ways.

I am learning to wait upon the Lord and to be of good courage.

I am learning that I know nothing of God's love, grace and mercy.

I am learning, growing and becoming.

Between you and I, though I miss the yesterdays with my best friends and I miss who I was, what I have with God today, though alone, is wonderful. My mind and heart know that to be a lily among thorns, I have to lay down my life. That is, letting go of all that I miss, all that I yearn for, and (the hardest one of all) saying adios to all that is me. Looking into the mirror I hope to one day see not my own reflection, but the reflection of Christ.

This past Sunday at church my dear Pastor reminded me, that the Christian life is a radical life and a life of inconvenience. With that said I close with a word of hope, a word that is convicting me this very moment:

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. +Philippians 3:12-15